Contributions to the tribute of Herbert J. Mitschele, III

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Mr. Mitch I have never seen a line outside and wrapped around during a viewing before until yours. I wasn't surprised at all tho cause I know you have touched so many. Now I ask that you be Mrs. Mitch's and your kids' guardian angels and help them feel some peace. I am sure you are already watching over them, but send them some of your bear hugs so they can feel your warmth.

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Sue Seipel posted a condolence

My heart goes out to you Robin and the rest of your family. Please know how much I have thought about you all in the last week. I feel so deeply for your loss. You and Herb were always a wonderful example of family, you inspired me many times. Please know even though I haven't seen you in many years that my door is open any time you would want to come back to Randolph for a visit. Arn and I both have had a very heavy heart hearing the news of Herb's passing. Over a lifetime, you do not meet many couples that are just "meant to be" as you two were. In our thoughts and prayers. Love, Sue and Arnie

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Kathy Lapkowski posted a condolence

Dear Robin and all the Mitschele and Case family. Looking at this picture brings back so many wonderful memories !!! What a hunk !!!I will always remember our times together in PA. and at Woodloch or when you would drive down this way. So many years ago. My thoughts and prayers are with ALL of you. He will be sorely missed by all !!!! So much love...Kathy Shannon

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Donna gidich posted a condolence

Love to all of you.. And many prayers coming your way Donna & David Gidich

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mary ricca posted a condolence

To the Mitschele family,I new Herb from randoplh he was a man who loved his family so much and his wife robin. I am so sorry for your lost and I know no words can make things better. This is a very strong family with a lot of love for each other. This will help you get thru this time in your life. My prayers to all of the ffamily Mary ricca

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David & Elizabeth posted a condolence

Always in our hearts...

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love your Robbie posted a condolence

I wanted to read this at the service and i forgot to bring it with me but it speaks in volume as to how i feel..... As we look back over time we find ourselves wondering...Did we remember to thank you enough for all you have done for us?? For all the times you were by our sides to help and support us.....to celebrate our successes to understand our problems and accept our defeats?? or for teaching us by your example, the value of hard work, good judgment, courage and integrity??? We wonder if we ever thanked you for the sacrifices you made. To let us have the very best?? And for the simple things like laughter, smiles and time we shared???If we have forgotten to show our gratitude enough for all the things you did, we're thanking you now. And we are hoping you knew all along, How much you meant to us................................................ We love you forever way up to the sky..... your Robbie

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Rosemary and Joe posted a condolence

Herb and Robin were our neighbors before they moved to Hidden Lakes, my best memory or Herb was when he "came over" with Calib, he was the happiest grandfather i had ever seen, so proud, so much in love with this little man. He was such a loving father, grandfather and husband and a wonderful neighbor. We will miss you!

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Kate O'Malley posted a condolence

To Robin and family; My condolences on your tremendous loss. I was lucky enough to know Herb from working at the Lodge, and knew upon first meeting him what a genuinely wonderful person he was. I feel so fortunate to have ran into him and Robin a few weeks ago at Wegmans. Though it had been years since I'd seen either of them, we all hugged and talked as if I'd seen them the day before. I didn't even know that Herb was sick. I was shocked to see his obituary and my heart goes out to the Mitschele family. Herb was a great man who will not be forgotten.

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Marilyn & Nick Krochta posted a condolence

Dear Robin and family, We were very saddened to hear of Herb's passing and all the suffering he endured. We have good memories of your family and have watched all of you grow into a wonderful loving, caring family over these many years because of who you and Herb were- loving, caring, giving parents and grandparents. His smile, happy-go-lucky attitude and bear hugs will be missed, but cannot be taken from our hearts, where they will be remembered and cherished. Always know that he is nearby and helping you along the way, even though you may not think so- here and there you will feel his presence and know that he is trying to ease your broken heart. You are blessed with a large family, who will fill your hours and days with joy and get you through this very sad time. Know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. We love you, Marilyn and Nick

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Victoria posted a condolence

Rest in peace herb,you are and will alway be in my prayers .

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Yuliya posted a condolence

JimHave you read Dodging Bullets ISBN 0260133512 Published by MIT in 1999 ? If not well worth a read.This is from the last para of the Conclusion under the sub heading "The Policy Alternative"" So be pparered to improve disclosure,hoping for help from the capital markets, but if necessary, implement and tighten loan to value ratios and capital requirements. At the extreme, consider imposing reserve requirements on credit growth. Just because you have dodged a bullet does not mean that you should stand in the same place.".. David

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your Robbie posted a condolence

Hi Baby,Just wanted to write a quick note before bed to say how much i love you and how much my heart aches for your hand in mine or one of your gentle hugs from behind that always made me feel so comforted ..... did i ever tell you that, did you ever really know how much i loved your hugs just as did everyone else....and have i told you how much i am missing those hugs right now????? I am!!!! I just wish i could feel your arms around me right now. I know you must be catching up with all our loved ones and friends but please dont' forget about us down here.....We are all hurting so much and need to know you are watching and still around us somehow.This is just so very difficult, i just don't know how to get back on track with life.... I love u to the moon and back forever, Love and big Herb Hugs from your Robbie

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Susan Mougnos Timm posted a condolence

Dearest Robin, Nichole & Dan, Jessica, Crystal, Herbert & Jennifer, Eric & Nicole, Ryan and to Herb's entire Family-- My Family sends our Deepest Sympathy to each and every one of you at the passing of your Precious Loved One, Herb. I know this is a tremendous loss to each and every one of you and I'm so very sorry* I wanted to share some special thoughts especially after watching Herbie's Tribute a few minutes ago. I haven't really been able to put words together for your family until now. Seeing you all together--laughing & living life-- that's when volumes of tears came pouring down!! What a Beautiful Tribute of Herb's Life so well lived as a Husband, Father, Grandfather, Son, Friend and so forth. What I've learned in these past few weeks about Herb is that he was a man of Great Love & Great Character. He was a True Family Man and a Friend to All. What a very special man!! The world was truly a better place because of Herb. You must all be so Proud of your loved one! I have such fond memories when Robin first met the Dashing Herbie!! It was LOVE at first sight!! I am so thankful & blest to have had the sweet privilege of being a Bridesmaid in Robin & Herb's most lovely wedding!! Thank You Both** And Together...Herb & Robin raised the large beautiful family they hoped for! May the LORD OUR GOD bring Peace to Your Hearts, Minds & Souls in Your Time of Sorrow. With Love & Prayers & Sympathy, Susan John Bryce Forrest

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Your Robbie posted a condolence

Hi Babe, Just thinking about you all day, it was a tough one today, and i really just needed to tell you how much i miss you and i am so lost right now. My heart aches so very much and i wish so badly i could just feel your arms around me. Oh i would do anything to hold your hand right now. I am sitting here with the kids and they are continuing your tradition of teddy bear breads and bacon wraps for our family christmas party (which we are having just for you, because it is what you wanted). Eric is doing the bacon and Jess and Nicole made some breads. I tried to do your wreath but i just couldn't remember how you did it and i got so upset i stopped. I just can't measure up to the things you did but the kids came in and took control......now i'm not saying they will compare to what you did but they are doing their best....actually some are priceless...you would be so proud....and i think we are at about 140 bacon wraps so we are almost half way there. I do miss the way you use to come in after i decorated and tell me how good things looked, that always meant so much to me, that you even noticed and i hope you know how very much that meant to me. You always noticed the little things i did and made it a point to tell me so. I miss you my Herb and i will love you always to the moon and back forever. xoxoxoxo

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nichole posted a condolence

Hey Pops... words can't express how much I miss you... I knew it would be hard without you here, but I couldn't have predicted this much pain. Everyone keeps telling me it must be so comforting that you and Caleb are together, but honestly, it just makes me angry to hear that. I know in time I will take comfort in that knowledge, but it all seems so unfair at the moment. How is it possible that 2 of the most important people in my life are not here with me?? The sadness I feel, especially at night, is just unbearable at times. I have picked up the phone so many times to call you... I think about the night you died over and over again... I'm driving in the car and suddenly it hits me that you're gone... I miss your voice, especially hearing you say "hey peanut", I miss your advice, I miss seeing you at work and of course I miss your hugs... I just miss you Pops. And thinking about starting our fundraising without you is so upsetting 'cause I know how much it meant to you. And forget about Christmas. It's devastating to even think about celebrating without you. It's gonna suck. I know I sound like a mess right now, but I'm hanging in there... I'm trying my best to be strong everyday, I'm just overcome with emotions at this moment. I love you Pops, so much. Please give my sweet pea a big hug from his mama... love your #1 peanut

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Love from your Robbie posted a condolence

Hi Babe, Wow today was one of the toughest days and i'm not sure why but it has really been a bad one. My heart is so broken and i am empty and lost without you and some days, like today, i just question how i am going to do this??????? I have gotten alot of things done while i'm home, cleaning, going through cabinets (you would love that one)and now we are working on your bar. I just hope it is the way you want it to be and we have even added a few special touches just for you. I only wish we had gotten it done sooner so you could have enjoyed it with our friends. I wish i could find comfort in believing you and Caleb are together again, but for some reason i can't even though everyone says we should. I keep hoping that will happen but not yet. I do believe you were there with open arms to hug all those little ones who God brought home last week. I feel the pain of every one of those parents to have to try and get through this holiday without their loved ones. It is so very difficult and even having this party this year is tougher than i ever thought it would be. I truly hope we can all find just a little peace somehow this weekend even though it is not going to be right -- you not being here. I know everyone is feeling it. It breaks my heart watching our kids go through this heartbreak, i understand their pain more than they realize. Everyone is dealing with it in their own way, unfortunately none are easier than another. I am still trying to make sense of this, hon and i just can't. The other night i actually thought you were sleeping cause the door was closed like it usually is and then i remembered....... it is so difficult and i miss you so much. The nights are the worst, cause i just want to feel you feet against mine, or your hand in mine like we use to do while we slept. The emptiness at that time is so overwhelming and i usually fall asleep to tears streaming down my face with your photo in my hand. I just want to feel you near me so badly...... Thank you for watching over our Ry guy last night..... and please continue to keep all of our family safe.... Don't ever forget how very much i love you.....all the way up to the sky....... Loving you forever, your Robbie xoxoxoxo

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LOVE FROM YOUR ROBBIE posted a condolence

Hi Hon, Merry Christmas my love.....Never did i ever think six months ago that i would be spending my first christmas in 40 years without you. We survived the first family xmas party with you not being here and it was amazing how the kids just picked up the pieces to make all our traditions happen as always. You would have been so proud of them. Unfortunately the bar wouldn't dry so we couldn't quite use it the way we wanted but we at least got to show it off. Maybe that was just your way of not letting us use it since you weren't here. It is just so surrea at times that i have to keep reminding myself that it is real. I don't know if i can ever really come to terms with this whole thing, but i am trying, i really am. I am trying to be strong and brave and it is not as easy as some people think it should be. In fact it totally sucks to be honest. Each day i have to remind myself that this is not a bad dream, it is real. One month ago today i had to say goodbye to you......my soulmate, best friend, lover and partner for life.....at least i always thought it would be for life..... but not a life this short. I am truly lost without you here, and i just am not sure if i can do this by myself. I know i don't want to, but i know there are people counting on me......I can't believe it is christmas day and this is the first xmas day i've spent without you in 40 years.....nothing seems the same without you here. We went to mass last night at the methodist church and we really like pastor Anna and you would have loved her too. One more thing i wish we would have done when you were here like we had talked about.....try a new church. Hon, please help me with some of the turmoil in my life right now. You know what it is and i really need your help cause i don't know how to make things right so please tell me how to fix things. Well i better get some sleep since the little princess will be up early tomorrow looking for her lute. i love u forever baby and i hope you know that. I will never stop missing and wanting you....ever. Enjoy this special day with our little man Caleb, and please give hugs and kisses to my family and our little man too. i love u to the moon and back forever. Merry Christmas , Love ur Robbie

hugs from robbie posted a condolence

Hi my love, I know I already wished you a merry Christmas this morning but just needed to do it again tonight. It was a very tough day today even though the kids did a great job. We were opening gifts all day (even though I spent the least amount of money than ever before - you would have been proud of me I think).....It definitely helped having all the kids here, although it didn't make me miss you any less, in fact it was a really hard day. We watched your video which ripped our hearts out and giving the kids your candles and your ashes was a really difficult thing to do. I honestly don't know how to do this alone hon, I really don't. I feel so lost and broken that I don't know if I can ever be fixed. I miss you more than anything in the world and I just don't know if my heart will ever feel whole again. I just want you to know how much I miss you and I hope you had a wonderful day with Caleb and all our family members. Please know how much I love u all the way up to the sky and to the moon and back forever. Love and hugs to you my love, your Robbie

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Happy Birthday Baby posted a condolence

Hey Hon, I just wanted to be the first to say Happy Birthday.....We had such plans for this big day of yours, but unfortunately we didn't get the chance to put our plans into action. I hope you know that all our thoughts today will be of you and we will all be remembering good times and special moments with you. I still can't believe that you will not be here with us on this day....it still just isn't feeling real and I keep hoping I am going to wake up from this nightmare and all will be as it was....you and me baby - forever.....cause that is what you said. I am still trying to figure out how things got so bad so quickly.....I hope you know that I never gave up on you and truly believed in my heart that you would get better and that is why I never said goodbye....you kept saying to me "i'm not done fighting yet hon, i'm not giving in to this beast" and I totally believed you and I was there to support you. I am so happy we got to go to California where we reconnected with each other and I'm so sorry we won't ever get to do that again. Those memories of early mornings watching the fog clear only to give us those beautiful sunny days which we totally enjoyed laying by the pool and soaking up the sun. It felt so good to take our nightly walks around the grounds and then sit in the camper reading our caring bridge website and all the journal entries each day. We just enjoyed those days so much and I am so grateful for the memories we made out there. I wish so much that I could have been a better support system for you when we got home, that I wouldn't have had to work as much and could have been home with you and maybe that would have made a difference. I don't know, but I will probably never forgive myself for things like that which makes life extremely difficult and painful, but I feel that I deserve that pain because of some stupid things I did or didn't do and this is my punishment.....living without you....and that punishment will be with me until we are together again. I miss you more than you will probably ever know but I hope you can feel the sadness in my heart, not having you here hon....my life is so different now, as it will be forever. Well happy birthday my love. I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope you will be able to feel that love today..... To the moon and back forever -I will love you.....Your Robbie xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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Your Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Hon, Just want you to know i'm thinking about you, every minute of every day. My heart aches for you every waking moment and sleep is something I just hate cause I am so lonely in our bed without you. The beautiful quilt the kids made for me is so warm and helps me some, but it just can't replace you. Nothing and no one can take your place and nothing can fill this big empty hole in my heart. You are my first thoughts in the morning and my last thought before I fall asleep, when I fall asleep, at night. I just wish I could find a little bit of peace somehow which would help get me through the day cause I am really struggling. I'm trying hon, I really am but some days are just so damn hard and at times I feel like i'm losing my mind because the pain is so bad and hurts so much. I hope you are listening to me when I talk to you especially when I say i'm sorry for something that I realize now may have hurt you or made you sad. I truly am sorry from the bottom of my heart and I am just hoping you forgive me as I have forgiven you for the things that may have hurt me. It's so hard and there are so many things we didn't get to do and that makes me miss you even more. I just hope you can see how broken my heart is. I will love you forever to the moon and back ......it will always be ....you and me baby

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love you, Robbie posted a condolence

Hiya Babe, I've been thinking all day of what I would say to you tonight. So many things go through my mind but the biggest one is how much my heart hurts because of how much I miss you every minute of every day. I try so hard not to think about things that we were gonna do together or about some things I wish so much we had done differently but it is so hard to turn my mind off and at times I just can't stop the tears and I feel like they may never stop. I am just having a real hard time believing it is two months ago today that you left us, at times it feels like yesterday and other times it doesn't even seem real yet to me. I honestly don't know if it will ever feel real to me because when I think that I will never feel your arms around me again or ever feel you take my hand or kiss me good night, well I just feel like I can't breathe sometimes. These last two months have been so difficult and I know there are so many more overwhelmingly tough ones to come. Please please keep sending me signs even though I know you do, I just feel like its not enough (I know, some things dont' change huh). Every minute of the day you are somewhere in my mind, I just hope you know that. I miss being able to share things with you or picking up the phone to call you when something happens.... so many little things we use to do.....those are the toughest things to deal with. I miss you my love, my best friend and I'll love you forever to the moon and back.. your Robbie do you remember this: yammfpitwww....... cause it is still true....xoxoxoxoxoxo

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Love from ur Robbie posted a condolence

Hi Baby, I honestly don't know how 3 months has already passed because I still sit here and wait for you to walk in the door. They say time heals all wounds but this is one of those wounds that I just don't think will ever be healed. It only takes a song or a photo or just even a thought of you to make me break down and just want to crawl into a ball. The pain is just as strong as it was 3 months ago and I don't really see it getting any less in the days ahead. I'm trying hon, I really am, but its' just not so easy. The hardest time is at night, when I lay down and want to warm my feet between yours, or just wrap my arms around your back just to feel you close to me. I loved when you would reach for my hand while we slept....there were so many little things, just at night and now it is hard to crawl into that bed without you every night......tears fall like rain in our bedroom hon, they mix with the sound of the sleep machine we used to drown out the quiet...how ironic huh???? This has become my nightly ritual. I sit here writing this letter to you and at the same time, looking at your obituary page where it says age:59. I remember how you use to read through the papers and you always looked at the obit page and would always comment on the ages of those who had passed and it use to amaze you how young some of these ppl were. You would always comment on those who were in their 50's and say God that is just so freakin young....and here I sit now looking at the very young age and still can't believe it's you...it just doesn't seem possible that this could be true. I am trying to be happy and thankful for all our continued blessings like the newest member who will join our family in August....a parting gift from their pop pop I guess (hopefully a little namesake..) and while I do count these blessings, it just doesn't fill the void that is taking up space in my heart....I just don't know how to heal that part of me. So many changes going on right now, and so many things I need your advice on and i'm so lost without you here ... I just don't know what to do ..I miss you so damn much Hon....please help me know you are ok and that you are still here with me...please Everyday is a struggle but I am trying to get up and go to work and function as normal as this new normal is for me but I just need to know you haven't truly left me...cause that is what you always promised me.....that you would be with me forever so please help me know you are....... I love you to the moon and back forever my Herb xoxoxoxoxoxoxo your Robbie

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Jessie posted a condolence

Hey Dad...I know I haven't written on here in a bit...of course I hope you realize that doesn't mean I don't think about you. I think about you every day...I still forget that you're gone sometimes, and go to share stories with you or include you in something that i'm doing...I miss that. I miss you around. I miss your hugs, and the talks we used to have...just hanging out at home when Mom was working. It's definitely not the same without you. I hope you see how much you're missed, not only by your family but by so many others. Please give Caleb and Gram big hugs and kisses for me...I'm a little jealous that you guys are all there together- I wish you were all still here with us instead. But know that I think about you every day. Miss you lots, loving you always....

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Robbie with Love posted a condolence

Hi Baby, I'm having a real tough time tonight and i miss you more than ever....My tears for you just won't stop coming and i know it will be like this for a really long time. I just wish i could make the pain stop cause my heart hurts so much i can't stand it. I can get through the day without totally falling apart but as soon as i get in that car to come home, it all starts and it just won't stop. When i think of how much time we spent in the car together, sometimes not talking, just driving wherever....Oh what i would give to have another chance at a conversation with you. It is one of the things i truly miss the most...is talking with you and i'm so sorry and i so regret those silent car rides. If only i could turn back time, there are many things i would do differently, i'm sure we both would. I would make sure we enjoyed every minute we had together and take advantage of all the little moments we all so easily take for granted. Oh Hon, i just miss you so much and i feel so alone without you here. I don't think this pain will ever go away and i'm so scared when i think i cant handle this anymore. Please please hear me babe, know how much i miss you and need you to still be in my life. I cherish each little sign from you, but i just need more of them to keep me going. There is so much going on here right now and i need your wisdom and your advice and most of all your hugs....God what i would do for one of your hugs right now. I just want to feel your arms around me so i can feel safe like i use to but don't anymore. I just never thought anything else could cause this much pain, but losing you has truly broken my heart to pieces and left a big empty hole in its place.....I hope you can see how much i am hurting without you hon, and that you can see how much my heart aches without you here....I'm so sorry for so many things and if you only took one thing with you..please know it was my heart....please keep it safe until we are together again...I love u to the moon and back....Forever Love u lots & Miss u More... Your Robbie for Always

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your loving Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Four months ago today my heart broke into little pieces as I held you for the last time....I often go back to that night and it still seems so surreal, like it never really happened. But then I look at the empty spot on the couch or the empty recliner and I remember that it is real and that you will not walk through the door at 11:15 tonight or tomorrow night or ever again....and then the empty hole my life has become gets even bigger...words can't begin to express how lost I am without you and how at times I just don't know how to move forward. I'm scared, sad and so lonely without you here. Everything I do reminds me of you, whether its shopping (which we did together most of the time) cleaning (which you were so helpful with and even watching certain programs (our favorite shows are so tough to watch now). I just don't even know where to go with this right now cause I've cried so much in the last couple days, I can't even think straight. I am having a hard time believing that you have been gone for 4 months today, I just don't know how it could possibly be that long already when it seems like only yesterday that you and I were planning our future. I just wish I could understand why this has happened even though I know we aren't suppose to, I just wish I could make sense of all of this. I know so many want me to move forward but they just don't understand that I don't know how to do that without you beside me. We were suppose to be together forever so this was not in our plans, you leaving me so early hon.....I am just so lost....It's so hard when something happens and my first thought is to call or text you ...and then I realize I can't do that anymore and it just starts the pain and sadness all over again....But nights are the worst and so hard to get through sometimes. Hon I just hope you can see how much I miss you, we all do in so many ways but for me, life is empty and forever changed. Maybe someday, things will not seem so bleak but for now I am just trying to accept that this is my life. I miss you babe every minute of every day and I will love you forever to the moon and back.....xoxoxo Your Robbie

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Your Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Just want you to know I have been thinking of you all day, not that it's any different than any other day, but today just had a lot of meaning behind it. Good Friday has always been such a somber day and we never use to work or even let the kids do their sports and we always went to the stations of the cross, so this year it felt very strange not going to church. This entire holy week was very different this year starting with palm sunday. I just couldn't bring myself to go without you and i'm not sure about Easter yet either. I guess it will depend on the kids and what they want to do. Some days are just too difficult yet. But the other thing I thought about all day was of course us....and what would I have said this morning to you but "Hon, what is today and what happened on this day 39 years ago?" And you would have looked at me and said "oh hon I don't know, but I guess I should by the way you're looking at me..." and then I would say "c'mon hon, you asked me to marry you on this day 39 years ago". I can remember like it was yesterday...You weren't suppose to come up that weekend so I was at woodloch with my friends and in you walked. I remember being in the North Lodge when you walked in and being so surprised and happy to see you cause I didn't think I would. We stayed for a while but you were anxious about going home which was weird, cause usually we were going out for the night, but we did go back to my little apartment, where you came in with long stem red roses and said Happy Easter. When I was taking them out of the box, I found my ring around one of the roses and when I turned to look at you, you said will you marry me??? I think I said something like "really, are you serious?" And from there I think I remember having a very special night together....The next morning I raced to work to show off my ring and share my exciting news and on break I went home to tell my folks and I think that is when you went to ask my dad (or maybe that's what I thought, i'm sure you asked him first) but I just remember being so excited and so were they. Then on Easter Sunday we went to mass and I didn't know but your whole family was up for the weekend and we met up with them at church where we shared our news. The only one who knew was Mary cause she helped pick out my ring. It was a weekend of beautiful memories and the beginning of such a wonderful lifetime together....just one that was cut short too soon. These memories will always stay with me though and no one can ever take them away from me. I just wanted you to know how lost I am without you and to let you know you are always on my mind babe. I love you to the moon and back for always..... Happy Easter my love..... xoxoxoxo your Robbie

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Hugs from Robbie posted a condolence

Hi Babe, I am having such a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that you have been gone for 5 months, 152 days i have been without the one person who meant the world to me and i just still can't seem to believe that you are gone and i miss you more every single day. This weekend is the fundraiser for our little man and it has been truly overwhelming without you here. I guess i never fully realized just how much you and i did together, from dropping off flyers to picking up donations to wrapping baskets and so much more. Every time i rip off a piece of tape i think of you and at the end of the day when i can't stand cause my back hurts so much i just want to feel your hands pressing on my back or your arms wrapped around me with that gentleness you always had. And i can hear you saying "how's my peanut doin?" God i just can't stop the pain of missing you so much, and i just don't see it ever getting any easier. This weekend is gonna be a hard one for all of us without you there, i honestly don't know how we will get through it. It was hard enough without Caleb but now without you....I hope you can somehow give us strength to get through it. Thank you for acknowledging your ring that i wear every day so i can always keep you close to my heart, because that's all i have left now hon. I miss you so incredibly much and i just hope you know how much i love you and have loved you for the last 40 years and will for all of eternity. To the moon and back forever... Loving you, your Robbie

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Your Robbie with Love posted a condolence

Hon, I look at this picture and all I can keep saying is "how can you possibly be gone"....I just don't get it and I still can't accept it...I keep waiting for you to walk through the door at night. I don't know how I have gotten through six months without you babe I really don't cause every day is such a struggle. My heart just hurts so much and I can't make it stop....Hon I just don't know how to do life without you cause the pain is so bad. I try so hard to be happy but my heart is so broken I don't know how to fix it. I miss you so much every day and every night and I am just so very sad without you. I hope you can hear me when I talk to you cause I didn't get the chance to say so many things to you. I just don't understand how things went so quickly when we were so positive you would beat this monster. I'm just so lost now hon, we promised each other forever so what do I do now???? My forever is gone but i'm still here and this wasn't part of our plan...We had so many things left to do in life....I'm so sorry ...i'm trying so hard to be strong but sometimes I just don't know if I can do it. The nights are the hardest cause being in our room without you there is so painful. I'm trying hon I really am but I just need your strength as I always did so please help me.... I'm trying to just live one day at a time and even that is so hard. I truly hope you know how much I miss you and what your little signs mean to me when I get them. They are what keeps me going. I think of you every minute of every day and I will love you to the moon and back forever babe.....xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo your Robbie for always.....

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xoxo Your Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Well this was one tough week, and I just can't believe it's 7 months...I really don't know how we've managed to go this long without you here with us. This week started with Devin's wedding and your empty chair beside me and then the moment of silence to honor you. I knew it would be a difficult day. But you let us know you were with us when, during the moment of silence, a gust of wind blew through the tent and knocked over the champagne glasses....thank you for that hon. But it was a beautiful day though tough without you. The kids were awesome as always, making sure I wasn't alone during the day and the boys jumping in to help out with the slow dances....but I missed my dance partner....no one can ever replace you in that department baby. I missed those special little steps that only you and I could ever get right...no one could ever follow you like I could huh?? We did manage to get through the wedding, and even went to the pines where we toasted you and sang some Don Williams in your honor. It was a truly difficult night. Then we went to Nik's for brunch on sunday, Fathers Day. How ironic that we would spend fathers day together for the first time in years. But you were so missed hon, from the time we got up until the time we went back to bed, there was a big void in our hearts. And then the week continued with the 19th marking the one year anniversary of the day your battle began...another milestone I guess. And by the time I got to Sunday, well I was pretty much done. It was just a horrible day even though it started off great with breakfast with friends and a shower for Trin, but when I came back home, something just hit me and I haven't stopped crying yet. I just can't get over the fact that there are so many things we didn't get the chance to do and I am so sorry for that. I'm sorry hon that we never took walks in the woods cause I know that was one of your passions and i'm sorry we rarely found the time to just sit on our front porch together having a beer or just listening to the quiet. But I will do that for you now in hopes you will be there with me somehow and I will take our grandbabies into the woods when I can and talk about the wonderful grandpa that would have loved to teach them the way of the woods. My heart really hurts right now Hon, and I miss you so very much and my tears just won't stop falling. I just pray that one day soon you will come to me and make me feel you and maybe i'll be able to find a little bit of comfort in that....right now I can't seem to find any but I really am trying. Until then babe, I will think of you every minute of every day and I will love you to the moon and back forever..... xoxoxoxo Robbie

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Your Robbie with Love posted a condolence

Hey Babe, well this sure has been a tough week, one I just wish you were here to share with. I just can't believe we are saying goodbye to Joe, another one of the good guys, less than 8 months after we had to let you go. I am so confused on what life is truly all about anymore, cause it seems it is just filled with pain...everyday. I feel like a bandaid has been ripped off a sore that hasn't healed yet and nothing can help take the pain away. I now have to watch our children relive the pain of losing you again, as we watch Danny and Mandy suffer through their own loss. It is just so hard to be so sad all the time but that seems to be life anymore. This pain is just so unbearable some days hon....and moving forward seems almost impossible at times....Please help Danny and his family to have strength during this difficult time and help us to help them in any way we can. I realize how much I relied on your strength to get me through all those tough times we had to deal with and this is one of those times I really miss your arms that held me, your chest that I could lay my head on and your shoulder that I always knew I could cry on....oh hon I just miss everything about you...my heart just hurts so much and the pain is relentless....please let me know you're here..somehow... I love you babe to the moon and back.......forever

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your Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Babe, I feel like these months just keep going by so quickly and i'm so scared that one day it will be like... we never were......I'm trying so hard to hang on to life but I just miss you so much and every day is a challenge and some are such a struggle without you here. Yes I have beautiful memories but they can't hold me when i'm scared and lonely or tell me they'll keep me safe, or say it will be okay or just hug me like you do...there is no replacement for you hon....no one can make me feel like I matter the way you do....or safe and secure knowing that you would always be there....i'm just so afraid you didn't know how much that meant to me or how much I appreciated having you in my life so I hope that you hear me now and you feel the love I have and have always had in my heart for you. I don't know how I have made it through 8 months without you by my side cause some days I just feel like I can't do it. I miss you so much babe and my heart is hurting more than I ever thought possible...I'm also worried about things right now and this is one of the times that are so difficult cause I need your strength and your hugs cause that is what made me feel like everything would be okay....and right now i'm not sure they are...there is so much pain, sadness and hurt going on right now and I feel more lost and alone than I ever have....I want so much to feel you right now hon...I need it so badly....please let me know you're here with me....somehow.....I love u to the moon and back baby...it's just you and me remember....xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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benny posted a condolence

miss you dad....wish you were here to help me start up our favorite time of the year

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your Robbie with Love posted a condolence

Hey Babe, How is it possible that 9 months without you here has gone by already???? There really are no words to explain the pain in my heart and people say it gets easier with time.....well so not true cause each day without you here gets harder for me....my heart is just so empty right now and always so sad....I'm sure by now you must know we lost another good person when we said goodbye to Diane but i'm sure you and Caleb welcomed her with great big hugs for all she has done for us with the fundraisers...it will just never be the same without her smiling face and constant support.... The one good thing right now is awaiting the birth of our new little grandbaby...I so want this little one to come today cause maybe it will make this date just a little bit easier to bear if we had something happy to connect to it instead of all the sadness of losing you.....but I can't lie...this is such a bittersweet moment hon cause you should be here with me when I get ready to drive down there....we were together for all the other babies arrival and this is gonna be so difficult going it alone....there are just so many emotions running through me right now...and not having you to share them with is just so tough....Nighttime is the worst cause I just want to feel you next to me....our bed is just so lonely anymore without you to share it with...I wish I could see the rainbow after the storm but i'm having a real tough time with that right now and honestly I don't have much hope in it getting better. I ask you to help this new little one arrive safely and I promise you this little one will know all about his pop pop and what a wonderful man he was.....I promise you that. Well need to get some sleep so I can be ready for when that phone call comes. Be with me hon please.... I love you baby to the moon and back forever.....xoxoxoxoxoxo as always...your Robbie

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Robbie xoxoxo posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Well she finally arrived and she is a beauty, but then we would expect nothing else right???? AM I surprised.... Yes, cause I thought for sure it was a boy for you to carry on your name and yeah I was being selfish in wanting a little part of you to still be here in that little boy...and I know how much every man wants a son so I wanted one for our son just as you always did....but for whatever reason it wasn't meant to be today and when I look at that beautiful little face, I am so thankful for yet another special gift sent down to us and I know you are looking on with that sense of pride that you always had when it came to these beautiful children and grandchildren we have...so I guess our little Adelaide James or Addy or AJ or whatever we call her will have to just represent her Daddy and Pop Pop by being the little tom boy of the fam and doing all the little boy things you do with your son. But I know you would absolutely be totally in love with her just like the rest of our babies and I am just so sad that you weren't here to share this experience with us because as nervous as I was...it was absolutely a beautiful thing to be a part of. You would have been proud of them both and I have to say it brought back so many wonderful memories of us and the birth of our babies (although you definitely were a little more hands on or should I say "eyes on" the situation...than your son..)but he really did do a great job. I know you were here in spirit but it just wasn't quite the same as being able to hold your hand or cry with you out of happiness.... Thank you for sending this little bundle of joy and for helping her to arrive safely....I love you baby and I miss you more than any words could possibly say... To the moon and back forever....Your Robbie will love you

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Your Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Well I gotta say this has been a really rough week without you here....our first date, the day we started "going steady" (yeah it sounds funny now but back then it was such a big deal and such a milestone for us)...and then our wedding.... Even though I kept as busy as I could today not a minute went by that you weren't in my thoughts and always in my heart.....I even went and sat in Queen of Peace by myself at 2:15 today and thought about our day and tried to recreate it in my mind...from being in the back with my dad and him looking at me and saying "well this is it kiddo" to walking down the aisle and seeing you standing there waiting for me with that grin on your face, knowing how nervous you really were inside, but how excited we both were to be starting our life together. It was the beginning for us of so many wonderful beautiful memories we made together. I still ask why you were taken from us..from me...when we had so many things left to do in our lives. So many memories left to make and now trying to just get through each day is really tough without you here. AT church today I asked you to send me a sign, and to let me feel you in some way, to know you were here with me and I have to believe that hug I got from that stranger was from you...I believe that in my heart and it really brought me some comfort cause it was a big Herb hug....oh how I miss those hugs from you babe along with so many other things...I really tried to stay busy today..got my hair done (so miss having you being here to tell me how it looked) had a pedicure (much needed), but I really just was trying to stay out cause I knew being home would be that much harder with you not here. I keep remembering our last anniversary together and i'm so angry with myself for working last year even though It was something I had to do at the time....I just hate having that as our last anniversary memory....although we did share a tuna sandwich in the café remember....on my break. Oh hon there are so many things I wish I could do over sometimes and you know what they are....I just wish we had more time....and although I am so thankful for what we had and all the memories we have....you know me - I always want more....more hugs, more kisses, more snuggling.....more time to just be.....I just wish I could stop the pain....I hope you are thinking of me today babe and I pray you will come to me in my dreams....I miss you more each day that goes by and I love u to the moon and back forever.... I hope you can see this beautiful bracelet that Jess gave me...I love that I have something with your actual writing on it that I can look at every day...I hope it will keep you even closer to my heart....Happy Anniversary Hon....sending all my love to you.....xoxoxoxoxo

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Jessie posted a condolence

I'm having a hard time today Dad...I really miss you. I hope you're happy and not in pain anymore. I love you

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from Robbie with love posted a condolence

ZWEll baby ....we have hit the 10 month mark today and I am no better today than I was 10 months ago....The only thing different is i'm realizing so many ways in which I truly miss you....From all the ways you showed me you loved me to warming my feet at night to just seeing you walk into the spa and lighting up my day (along with all the other women there...) Funny when I was talking to you as I walked down the hill, someone from safety services was coming in through the gate and all I kept thinking was "I wish that was my Herb here to pick me up or even just to bring in the mail". But of course it wasn't you and I felt my heart strings being pulled once again.... I've been spending a little more time with Laurie..we actually saw each other twice this weekend.. Once at the boathouse to hear nikki sing and then at dinner at Ginas house. We spend a lot of time texting each other and crying together so we are watching out for one another just as we hope you and joe are watching over each other too. Theres not much more to tell you right now since I just wrote you last week. Tomorrow will be another tough day filled with more memories of those last couple months. I look at your Heart Urn and it just makes me so sad knowing you aren't coming home again.. Can you believe that it was a year ago we watched Benny and Nicole get married....Seems like forever ago and then it seems like just last week... Lil Benny is growing so fast and he is so freakin cute and smart as a whip...you would love to listen to him talk cause he is so funny. He talks about you and picks you our in each picture too. Hon please watch over our girls (the boys too, but right now all our girls are needing their daddy really badly) Nik needs your help so much right now and you know what i'm talking about, she needs to know she can still count on you to be there for her... Crystal is heartbroken over her breakup with Brian...he hurt her so badly and she is in such pain right now so please just let her know you are there for her... and our Jess..well she is having a really tough time right now...it is hardest on her right now cause she is still here in our house and she saw everything you were going through and I know its tough for her to be here with me all the time. I see when she has tough days unlike the other kids because we are together most often........... Please watch over all of them now and somehow someway let them know that you are with them and will take care of and watch over them...I know it would mean the world....and Herb misses being able to reach out and talk to you about shoddogg...he wants your opinion on things he isn't sure of....and of course Eric and Ryan miss you like crazy on Football days (well actually they all do but I think Jess has taken over your spirit when the Giants play). Regardless, we all have our own struggling we are trying just to get through and it just is really difficult some days. Well babe I need to get some sleep now so i'm gonna go to bed. I just finished decorating for the fall and I really miss hearing you say "oh the house looks great hon, you did a really nice job" I hope you know how much I appreciated all those little things babe cause I just don't think I ever told you enough so I am telling you now. Thank you for all the little simple things you did for me and I appreciated them more than anything else in the world. I miss you more everyday and I love you to the moon and back forever.....loving you always your robbie

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your Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Oh hon I just can't even tell you how difficult today was without you here....Going to mass alone and the cemetery alone and crying alone...it has just been such a tough day...this day was always difficult for us together but being alone without you...there are no words to tell you how much I miss you and even moreso today...I miss your strength, I miss your presence but I most of all miss your hugs....God how I miss those hugs and the security I always felt when I got one....I just don't feel safe anymore and lonely has just become an everyday word in my life now...I can't believe our little man would be 9 today....how is that possible hon and how is it possible that he has been gone almost 7 years....while I am happy he is not alone on his birthday this year...my heart just hurts even more now that you are not here....I just don't know how to get through some of these days hon I really don't..they seem to be getting harder and harder every day. I hope you and Caleb have a wonderful day together and please give him hugs and kisses from me and tell him how much I miss him too.... always know how much my heart hurts here without you hon...they say time heals but I don't believe it....i'll never stop missing or loving you ...ever.... To the moon and back forever I will love you.....xoxoxoxo your Robbie

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Benny posted a condolence

Hey pops... I miss our Sunday morning conversations, your ridiculous fantasy football trade offers, your constant texts that would inform me you made a ridiculous trade offer, and pretty much anything football related just isn't the same anymore... Love you Dad, I'm glad Caleb had you up there to share his birthday.... Miss the hell out of you...

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Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hi Baby, I know I just wrote you last week but had to write today cause I've written you a letter every month on this day....I dont' really have many words to say right now cause I am just finding it hard to believe that you have been gone from me for 11 months......life is just so surreal and my heart is just so sad....I wish I could say I have found some peace with all of this but I would be lying because I have not found any peace with any of this. My heart still hurts like hell, i'm struggling just to get through some days, i'm lonely and I miss you more every day that you're gone....I try to think of the future and its just a blurry picture....i'm just so lost still and I just feel like I will never find my way out of this dark cold tunnel i'm in. I try really hard not to think but some days that is all I can do. There are so many things I need to do around here and so many things I just took for granted that you would always be here to take care of......but those aren't even the reasons I miss you......YOU are the reasons I miss you.... I don't think i will ever feel true happiness again hon....not without you here...not in my heart. I just feel like I go through the motions of everyday life, just to survive another day. I find myself waking up every morning and saying ....well I am one day closer to being with you again hon....... It's not really the way I want to live but right now, it's all I have. I'll be thinking of you all day hon even more than ever and I just want to remind you...I'll be loving you to the moon and back forever. Love hugs and kisses .....your Robbie

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your Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Baby, Well here we are, we have now been apart for a full year as of 13 minutes ago....It is 2:39 am and I said goodbye to you at 2:26 exactly...1 year ago today. I remember the whole week, the hospital, tests and draining the fluid in your lungs and stomach and how helpless I felt sitting there watching you go through so many things but holding your hand and always thinking .....he's gonna beat this damn thing....I was so positive because you made me feel that way... we promised each other we would not give up....we would fight this bastard together..... and for awhile we did but I don't know what happened...i'll never understand how things progressed so quickly and it is still so surreal to me...I still can't believe you are truly gone until my heart starts to ache or my tears start to fall....then I have to tell myself it is real and you aren't coming back to me. Not a day goes by that I don't walk into the house after working and long to see your beautiful face waiting at the door for me....I would give anything for that to happen....it is so difficult coming in here at night with the lights off especially when I use to tell you to not leave them on for me it was okay I could see with the night lights and now I would give anything to have you leave these damn lights on...thank God for Jess cause she doesn't let me walk into a dark house but I still can't get over the fact that you will never meet me at the door again....There are so many things I will never get use to....Herb and Jen and the girls being here tonight and holding baby Addie and just wanting to hear you singing the abcs in her ear...knowing you would absolutely love her and she of course would adore you...there are so many things you missed hon and it kills me that I can't share any of them with you. I am just praying that you can see everything here and get to know these other grandbabies too. And I'm not sure if I told you or not but Eric and Nicole are expecting #2 in June....Now we just wait for Nik and Dan so we could use a little help here from you and papa joe please. You know what I mean..... Well babe I am not sure if I had the chance to say everything I wanted but it is almost 3:30 am and I have to get some sleep. We are going to church for you in the morning and then spending the day together just like you always loved to do. I am sure the day will be all about you and our memories.....that is all I have now babe are our memories.... I miss you more than any words can say and as always I love u to the moon and back forever......your Robbie

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Robbie with Love and Hugs posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Well today is the last day of all our firsts we have had to celebrate without you....will that make all the ones to follow any easier??? No not at all, in fact i'm afraid they will only get harder as time goes on but I am just going to take each day as it comes and try and get through them just one day at a time. I am so thankful for all the gifts you and I have been given all these years but I have to be honest and say it is so much tougher celebrating anything without having you here to do it with me. No matter how hard I try to be really happy about an occasion or an event, there is that corner of my heart that just can't let the happiness in cause it is just too filled with sadness of not having you here with me. But for everyone else today I am going to try and be happy and not sad...i'll save it for later when i'm alone....like I try to do all the time. I hope you are having a feast today and enjoying every minute of it unlike last year when you couldn't eat a thing....Know i'll be thinking of you all day hon and missing you every minute....I love you to the moon and back...Happy Thanksgiving baby.....

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your Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Well it's our 2nd Christmas without you although it seems to be worse than the first. It has just been so difficult doing all the things alone that you and I did together. The shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning and everything else in between. I don't know if I ever fully realized how much we did do together until now and if I never made you feel totally appreciated I am so sorry. I not only have missed so many things we did together but I just miss you and the little things you did for me always making me feel so loved. I miss having you come up to me when im at the sink to rub my back after cooking or cleaning all day long...I miss having you walk in the door at the end of the day saying how's my peanut doin??? And getting up to come and meet me at the door after I was working all day....oh the list of reasons I miss you so much is totally endless and the pain just won't go away....I just hope with all my heart that you knew how much I love you and why I love you....all the reasons I love you cause there are so many.....These past few weeks trying to get ready for the holidays have been so tough, filled with memories of you, of us and of our family. Baking all our bread for the family conjured up a lot of memories of you and I making these breads and then turning into mostly u making them and us laughing at your silly candles but me always being thankful for all your help. We had our party this sunday and while it went really well....there was a big void in the midst of all the festivities....you are so missed babe....I hope you and our little man have a wonderful day together and know that we (especially me)will be thinking of you all day....right now my tears are dryed up but i'm sure they are just waiting for the right moment to come again... Merry Christmas Babe, I miss you and I love you to the moon and back forever I can't believe it is 13 months already since you left us.....I just don't know how I've made it this far without you.......

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Your Robbie with love posted a condolence

HI Babe, WEll Happy 2014 my love....I still can't believe I have to start another new year without you by my side, it is unbelievable how fast time has gone and it still doesn't feel real that you have been gone for over a year already. I worked all night and then decided to go to Woodloch for New Years....I can't say it was easy cause it wasn't...being there without you as the countdown began was just really tough but I got through some Happy New Year hugs but when they started singing Auld Lang zang it was just too much so i went outside to wipe the snow off of yours and Calebs bricks outside the night club.....I hope you could hear me wishing you a happy new year. Calling the three kids and Patty was so difficult cause again, it was always something we did together so I did okay until then but I hid in the hallway and made my phone calls and tried to hide my tears but didn't really succeed very well. It was tough when they did the countdown and I could remember how you were standing with your arm around me and how at exactly midnight you would kiss me and then continue to wish everyone in the nightclub a Happy New Year.....it is so amazing how people loved you just for being you. Hon, I thank you for sharing the best years of my life with me and i hope you truly know i feel. I miss you hon more than i could ever put into words and i love you to the moon and back forever..... Happy New Year Baby.....

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your Robbie with Love posted a condolence

Hi Babe, Just wanted to take a minute and wish you a Happy Birthday...Can't believe it's the 2nd one without you here. The kids and nieces and nephews are here....wanted to celebrate you which I thought was great but I have to say its a little tough doing it without you here...just doesn't feel right celebrating you without you....Last couple days have been tough ones...I took all the decorations down, just didn't quite feel the spirit this year like I always do... It was really a tough one this year and I just can't seem to get out of this funk I am in. I keep waiting for things to get a little better but it doesn't seem to be happening.....the sadness just comes when I'm not expecting it sometimes and it is so hard to shake it off. I hope you had a special day with Caleb and our family there but I hope you know i'm missing you every minute of the day....I really hope you know that hon. There is not a day that goes by that my heart isn't hurting from missing you so much. Some days I can get through but some days I just want to curl up in a ball and hide under the covers. I honestly don't ever think this pain I feel will ever go away cause I can't ever imagine a day without you and not feeling this empty lonely sadness..... I miss you more every single day and I hope you know that babe....Maybe someday I will be able to smile again and really mean it but right now I may be smiling on the outside but on the inside, its a totally different story. Happy birthday love ..... To the moon and back forever I will love you....xoxoxoxoxoxo your Robbie

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Your Robbie posted a condolence

Oh Hon i'm having such a bad night....I need someone so badly right now and there is no one around. I miss you so much and my heart is so broken and lost without you....I just am so tired of being so sad all the time and having to put on this happy strong act for everyone as though everything is just fine. Everything is not fine and i'm so sad and my heart hurts all the time and I don't know what to do to fix it. But then I remember there is nothing I can do to fix it because I can't bring you back and honestly that's all I want....I want one more day to sit, talk and hold hands, one more get together with all our kids here, one more time to sit with all our grandbabies, one more time to lie next to you and put my feet between yours like I did every night we were together, I want one more hug.....omg I just want you hon that's all I want....I just don't know how to go through life and do all I have to do without you....it wasn't suppose to be this way, it's just so wrong....I just feel like I have nothing left to give anymore.....i'm just so sad inside.......so unbelievably sad.....I miss you babe...so much more than anyone realizes...... its just you and me forever ..right???? LYTTMAB....FOR ALWAYS

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your Robbie... posted a condolence

Hi Babe, I know I was here just last week and I was having a really bad night. I'm gonna try and be a little better tonight. It is just amazing to me that another month as passed without you...sometimes it feels like just yesterday and other times it feels like forever ago that I held your hand and laid next to you for the last time....Oh some days hon I just wonder how to go forward at all....it is so difficult. I guess by now you know we are having another little girl....Benny will have a baby sister in June....Oh hon another little girl who will never meet her pop pop but I promise you, she will know who you are and she will know what a beautiful person you are and how you were always ready and willing to lend a helping hand to anyone who needed it....So many people miss you....not just ur family.....I just hope you can see how really missed you are babe. So many times I want to pick up the phone to tell you something and then I realize I can't do that anymore....it is so tough not having you here to talk things over with or to share exciting news with....like today when Eric called to say its a girl....if only we had been here together to get that news....Oh hon I just don't feel any less sad than I did 14 months ago when I held you in my arms for the last time and honestly I don't think I ever will. I hope you know i'm always thinking of you babe and I always will be.....Missing you tonight as always and loving you to the moon and back forever......Robbie Please help me know what to do for poor Chancey....I am really struggling with this and I need your guidance hon....this is really really tough for me...........please don't let it be up to me to have to make this decision.... PLEASE.....XOXOXOXOXO

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your Robbie posted a condolence

Hi Babe, I'm sorry I didn't get to do this on Valentines Day but between this weather and work....well I just couldn't mangage to do it. But I hope you know thoughts of you were with me all day and have been every minute since....Work was just so busy and the weather has been so horrible. I don't ever re-member a winter this cold or with this much snow hon....you would have hated this winter as much as I do right now. It is so hard to not feel depressed and closed in with all this snow we have and there is just no other place to put it anymore. Valentines Day was a tough one..watching all the couples at work only made me miss you and think of you and me so much more.....of all the things we did and all the things we will never get to do together. Oh this has been a really tough day and sometimes I just don't see it getting any better.....I just don't see the pain going away......ever..... Just don't ever think i'm okay please cause i'm not and I miss you more every day....please don't forget me hon......sometimes that is my biggest fear.....as always ...I love you to the moon and back forever

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Your Loving Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Babe, 15 months has passed now and the pain has not lessoned..it has only gotten worse. These last few days have been really tough ones and I know this week is going to be one of the worst. The weather and all this snow have just really gotten to me and I feel like I am suffocating cause I feel so closed in. The thought of any more snow and not being able to get out is so depressing. You would have hated it this year hon cause I know how the cold was starting to get to you the last couple years. I think of you every time I go out to clean up the driveway and realize its one more way in which I don't think I pulled my weight....I should have helped you more with the shoveling...and this damn driveway and the buildup of water is ridiculous....so many things we had yet to do here hon... but we were suppose to do them together...remember....and now here I am trying to just stay on top of things and it is just so hard....i'm just so tired anymore hon....and Chance, well I just don't know what to do here. Sometimes he is okay and other times he is so bad but I just can't make that decision to do something. Please can you give me some kind of sign...I just can't make that decision myself...can't do it....There are so many things I wish you were here for hon ...so many things we talked about doing and places you wanted to visit. We talked about taking one more cross country trip and every time I see a camper I think of how much you always talked about us getting one when we got older and just taking trips everywhere.....and now all those dreams are gone because doing any of that alone is just not the way it was suppose to be. I wish I could feel your arms around me or feel you at night when I lay in our big empty bed alone. I stay up so late so I can get myself so exhausted that I know I will pass out when I lay down....I'm just so tired hon....all the time. I know everyone wants me to be positive but I have to say its really hard and negativity easily creeps in to my everyday thoughts. I miss you saying to me "hon you gonna come in soon", or "don't stay up too late" and I really miss you meeting me at the door with a hug and a smile. I could go on and on with so many things that you have said or done but I realize I need to sleep. Little Benny is here and boy would you love this little guy just like all the others, but he is so just so funny and comes out with such classic things. It hurts to know you will miss the birth of another grandbaby and waiting for that baby alone just won't be the same. I just wish you would help send along another little one to the two who truly deserve it. Please hon help them at a time when they need it the most. WEll I really have to get some sleep babe but just wanted to say how much I love you and miss you .....to the moon and back forever.....I love you babey xoxoxo

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Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Oh how I wish you were here today....I wish I could feel your arms around me in one of your big awesome hugs. Not having you here on this day especially is so hard.....I miss you so much hon and just wish I could feel some comfort from you....time is not making any of this any easier...it's really not. The pain of losing both of you is just as tough today as it was on the days we lost you both. But when we lost Caleb at least we had each other....things are so different now and so much more painful and sad. I just can't find any peace in my heart at all....just pain and sadness is all that occupies the empty spot there. I'm thinking of both of you today and missing you so much. If only I could find a tiny bit of peace today and feel you here with me....that would help so much....loving you to the moon and back babe....forever

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your Robbie always posted a condolence

Hey babe, I am just sitting here really missing you right now and my heart hurts a lot today. Went to the show last night cause Nik was in it and it is really hard sitting there without you behind me.....so miss being able to lean back and know you were there always and missed your whistle that both Nik and Ryan always listened for...you must be so proud of both of them cause i'm sure you are watching....oh hon this is not getting any easier, if anything my heart hurts even more now and I don't see that ever changing. I just don't know how to make this pain stop and I don't know how to keep going forward without you. Every day is still such a challenge for me to just get through cause I miss you so much and I feel so alone. I just don't know how to make my heart stop aching for you every day and every night....need some help here hon please...... Loving you to the moon and back.....forever

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your Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Babe....I just don't know how time can go so fast now... each day is quicker than the last. I just don't understand how 16 months has gone by already without you here. I do know that the pain and sadness in my heart has not lessened even a tiny bit. I try and manage to just get through the day the best I can and somedays it takes everything in me to do just that. It's hard knowing that people think I must be doing okay because I can smile and laugh but if they only knew how hard it is to do that when inside I feel so raw and empty. It is painful when I still get guests at the lodge who ask if you will be driving them to the theme show and then having to explain to them....well it is like ripping a bandaid off a wound that has not yet healed. We have a lot to keep us busy right now so that helps hide our pain a little bit. Our little Emmy had her surgery last week and is doing a little better but we still don't know if this will take care of her issues but we are all hopeful....Crystal got some good news which i'm sure you know and Nik and Dan.....well please just watch over them as always; but especially now, and Jess could sure use some signs of support with all she is trying to accomplish. Herb misses being able to share all his Shodogg issues with you and he can use a few extra prayers to help him along, Eric is in the process of moving and little Harper will be here soon so please keep an eye on them and Ryan....well he misses having his Dad hangin out in the back of the nightclub ready with one of his whistles, just knowing you were there and being able to talk to you whenever he wanted. and me....well there are not enough words to tell you how difficult this all is...... We are all working hard to get the fundraiser going but I gotta tell you it is tough this year....Walking into Ehrhardts without you, Joe and Diane there is just going to be brutal so I hope you are all gonna be together helping to make our day successful even though it will be really difficult for all of us. Well babe I have to get some sleep so I can help Jen with the girls tomorrow....just wish so much you were here to enjoy this time with them cause that is all we ever wanted....they were what the future was about for us and its just not the same doing all this alone....I miss you more than words can say hon and i'll love you to the moon and back forever.....xoxoxoxo

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your robbie.... posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Well I have been trying to write this since last night but my laptop has been not working right so I finally gave up and came to the computer. I am so sorry I never got here on Easter...nik and I have been working like crazy every spare minute on baskets. It is very different not having it all in the basement now. Good in the way that we are very organized at the office but tough cause I can't wrap at my leisure so I spend at least 3 days a week there wrapping....I think I finished the last one tonight although I have thought that several times and I always find more. We have reached our highest number of baskets so far at 121....I wish you could see them all hon...it is amazing how they look....I feel like we do them bigger and better every year. I did one for you again, all your favorite things and I hope it is one of the more popular ones again this year like it was last year. I can't tell you how hard this is without you here hon...the memories can eat me alive sometimes just thinking of all the things we did together for this fundraiser and just wishing you were here to enjoy it with me....its just not getting any easier and its gonna be tough for Dan and Laurie this year too being the first one without Joe...I hope you boys and Diane are watching us that day...We have done our part now you guys have to give us some decent weather and lots of people...Hon please watch over Nik and Dan especially right now with all they are going through...please just take care of them for me and let them get some good news for once...wrap your arms around her and just hold her tight...she would love to feel that from you..... Well my love I am gonna go finish up some work for this weekend...we are almost there but have the last minute stuff to do and taking the fall I did this morning..well I am just hoping that I can walk tomorrow morning and the swelling will be down in my knee....this is the worst possible time for this to happen so please let it be better in the morning. I miss you my Herb and always remember I will love you to the moon and back forever....xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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your Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Just wanted to write and say I love you and I really missed you today. Putting Chance was one of the hardest things I have had to do alone....even though he was frustrating at times....I truly didn't want to do it and I just hope I did the right thing. I didn't want to see him suffer if he was but the hardest part was today seeing him get up by himself and act so normal and walking and not falling... it was so hard to make that decision today when he seemed like he was doing so well. I am feeling guilty for doing it and guilty for not doing it sooner for him.....I hope you and Caleb were there to greet him and thank you for letting us know you were with us today with the beautiful wind chime music....Jess and I understood even though we didn't talk about it until tonight....we knew it was you. Take care of him for me hon please.....I'm gonna try and sleep since I have cried all day and my eyes hurt so much i'm hoping I can get the swelling to come down by morning for work. Love u to the moon and back forever....Chancey buddy..i love u too.....

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Your Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey Babe, another month has passed and yet it still feels like yesterday that we said goodbye to you. It just hasn't gotten any easier like everyone says it will. We said goodbye to another good friend today, Barb Gubitosa who I hope you are having a few good laughs with right now. Life just seems to get harder everyday and more sad all the time. Going to the wake tonight just brings back so many memories that make my heart ache even more. Watching her kids and feeling the sadness in their hearts and looking at Artie who just looked lost and empty....well I know exactly how he feels.. and it truly is a horrible feeling. You feel totally helpless and unsure of everything life now has to offer and the sadness in your heart is just something that can't be explained....it can only be felt by one who has suffered that same loss. It's been a tough week, first with chance and now with Barbara and of course today's date just brings everything to a head. The only thing helping at all is having the girls here.....spending time with them and Benny are truly the light in my life right now (of course along with our kids).... the only tough part is not having you here to see these little ones....not having you here to teach them and love them the way you would is such a heart breaker. And now we have another little girl coming and it is one more piece of joy mixed with sadness knowing she along with Addy will never know their Pop pop, the way the other ones did, even for just a short time. I know how much you, just like me, love these babies and it breaks my heart everytime one of them brings up your name cause you should be here ......teaching and loving them right along side me.....we were supposed to do these things together and I don't think I will ever get use to going it alone and not having my biggest supporter here with me. I miss you hon every single day and my heart aches as much now as it did 18 months ago....to the moon and back forever....I love you

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your Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey babe, Well Harper Reese finally arrived today...8 lbs and 21 inches.....she's having a little bit of a tough time right now so I hope you and Caleb are watching over her till she gets a little stronger and gets rid of all the extra fluid in her body. WE were so lucky hon with all of our babies and other than the idiot doctor I had with Ryan....the deliveries I had were truly so special....And standing there in that NICU watching Harper hooked up to those machines well I gotta say it was scary and truly made me appreciate even more just how lucky we were with all of our kids. She is just so little and seeing her with the oxygen on and the iv in her little arm and heart and pulse monitors hooked up to her.....and not having my own support system there to lean on....well it was an exhausting day....it is so wrong that you are not here to see these little ones as they arrive .....and my heart aches to be in your arms right now. I miss you so much Hon, more with every day that goes by. Please watch over this little sweetie and get her healthy enough to be snuggling with her mom and dad real soon.....lovin you to the moon and back ...... forever.....your Robbie

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robbie posted a condolence

Hey Hon, I forgot to thank you for the dime today which made me realize my purse was wide open and I could have lost everything....definitely knew you were watching out for me today....love u to the moon and back.... please watch over Harper tonight and make her strong enough to go with her mom and dad tomorrow...love u baby

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Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey Babe, What a tough night this was....I was able to keep busy with Harper during the day but tonight has been so difficult.....I can't turn my mind off and all I can think about is you and things we did and didn't do...I miss you so much and my heart hurts and feels so heavy right now. I sat out by your tree with Harper today and felt the sun on my face and wanted so badly to feel you in my heart, but I can't seem to get past the pain to find any peace there....I honestly don't know how to keep doing this....the hurt, the pain the sadness every day....it is really getting tougher just to get through each day. I am trying to understand it, I'm trying to go through it but sometimes the pain just hurts too much. Please give me some guidance here hon....I need your help badly. I feel like a lost ship in search of a lighthouse to guide me home through this horrible storm i'm in and I can't find one. I feel like i'm sinking....Hon please help me here...I don't know how but I really need you right now. When I went back out to sit by your tree earlier tonight I felt like you were trying to give me a sign when the dragonfly appeared once again and landed on the rock right next to my chair.....Was it you hon???? Are you trying to let me know you are here with me.....I sure wish you had a way of letting me know cause that is maybe where I could find some peace in my life...I miss you baby more than I could ever put into words....my life will never be complete again and my heart will never be fully healed.....I just hope you know that....Happy Fathers Day to my best friend, the best husband and father ever....I love you to the moon and back for always..... Your Robbie xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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your Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey babe, well I typed up a letter for you last night but then realized it never saved on the sight so here I am again trying one more time to let you know I am thinking about you as always. It is just so hard to believe that its been 19 months already and no it has not gotten any easier being without you and trying to do everything myself that we use to do together .... well its really tough. I just miss you always saying "hon what a great job...or it looks great". All those little things that you always noticed...God how I miss those things. I spent all day last week rearranging our bedroom and then spent all night crying because I didn't do it for you...I just never realized how many things I did just for you cause I just loved seeing how much you appreciated everything I did....I miss those moments so very much. And then when I was cleaning the bedroom, I looked down in one of our storage boxes and in the bottom I looked and saw change....all dimes and pennies so felt you were with me....then at work I walked away from my stand and when I came back there was a coin on my phone that wasn't there before...it had a cutout of an angel on it and said "angel in my pocket"....I have no idea where it came from cause I saw no one at my stand for those couple minutes I was gone.....so where did it come from? Yeah I think it was a sign but can't explain it at all....I have to believe in something hon cause that is what keeps me going sometimes. I have a lot going on right now, emotionally and especially at work so I just ask you to be with me and help me make the right decisions...i'm struggling right now hon and I need your strength more than ever....and watch over all the kids getting them safely to and from wherever they are going please....I know I ask a lot of you but i'm still trying to remember that I don't have you to depend on now....I have to tell you it scares me....every day....and every day is still a challenge to me but I'm trying babe I really am.....well I have to get some sleep cause I have an early day tomorrow..hope you are watching the show tomorrow night and get to see Nik and Ryan in action...I will miss your whistle as I know the kids do from the back of the nightclub....I love you baby to the moon and back forever and always.....

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Your Robbie with Love posted a condolence

Hey Baby.....Well here we are another month later and I find myself missing you so much tonight. All the way home from work all I could think of was things I wish we had made the time for or had the money to do....we were so selfless and always put others needs before our wants or would likes should I say....I watch all the couples that come to the lodge and I am just so envious of them... they come there and relax and treat themselves to some special time...we were always so busy working and being responsible and putting ourselves at the bottom of the list ...and now..well lets just say thinking just makes me so very sad. Yet I can't turn my mind off even for a minute unless I am so busy that I can't even find the time to think. But all I know is how much I miss you with every day that goes by and how much my heart aches from missing you so much. I wanted so badly to come home to find you standing at the door to meet me just like you always did....God I miss you so much hon and this horrible pain is not getting an easier to live with......I just wish you would talk to me like you seem to talk to so many others cause maybe that would help me just a little....I hope you know how much I love and miss you babe and not a day goes by that thoughts of you are not in my head or my heart. I love you to the moon and back for always my Herb and i'll never stop loving or missing you......... your Robbie xoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

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your Robbie with Love posted a condolence

Hey Baby, I gotta say today was tough ...The car ride home after working 13 hours was a really difficult one and I just couldn't seem to get it together. I think everything is starting to really get to me.....missing you, meeting two couples this weekend that got married the same year we did, knowing football is starting and your fantasy draft is tomorrow night and yeah....our 40th wedding anniversary is less than a month away. What a milestone for us and never did I ever in a million years think I would be here alone when we got to it. I know we had a lot of time together yet I feel so cheated...cause I just feel like we never really got the chance to enjoy just us again...we worked together raising great kids and then we worked hard just to survive and get by.....we never thought once about putting ourselves first...we always thought about everyone else and I wouldn't change that about us, but I do wish we had taken more time and been a little more selfish for each other...I don't think either one of us ever thought about not being together and growing old together...we always talked about sitting on the front porch and watching our grandbabies grow up...going to watch them play sports or dance or sing....or whatever they would do we would be there together. And now i'm here alone trying to figure out how to get through another day without you. I put off going to bed at night cause sleeping without you next to me, without being able to slide my feet in between yours just makes it so much harder to sleep. So I wait till I can't keep my eyes open for another minute and then I try to sleep. I just can't seem to find any peace in all of this pain that i'm feeling cause my heart hurts too much. And watching these couples tonight, friends for 40 plus years just made me think about us and our close friends and how we will never have those times again....I will never have those times again cause without you I just don't fit anywhere anymore.... not with our friends not even with my friends....things are just so different now. I don't ever remember feeling so alone in my life but without you...that is how I feel most of the time. I realize now how you were the one that truly got who I was and loved me just for me. And i'll never have that again... It's 21 months today that I said good bye to you and the pain is no less now than it was then...in fact I think sometimes it is even worse. People are right when they say the first year you are in such shock you don't realize how much pain you are in, but the second year everything starts to become a reality and it truly is worse than the first. I can't believe it is gonna be 2 years soon. I honestly don't know how I have gotten through this up to this point. I just know I miss you more every day and things aren't getting any easier....well I am almost at that point of my eyes closing so I guess this is when I should try and get some sleep. I miss you my Herb and as always I am loving you to the moon and back....for always.....yammfpitwww.... xoxoxoxo your Robbie

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Robbie.... posted a condolence

Hey babe, Well exactly 42 years ago today, at about this time (while waiting for you to pick me up for our first date), I received a call from you saying we couldn't go out because you had a friend up with you for the weekend....well we all know what happened next. I can remember that day like it was yesterday so its hard to believe that 42 years have come and gone....42 years filled with ups and downs and twists and turns...but so much love and so many memories. My heart is aching from missing you so much and I wish I could turn my mind off for just a few minutes just to breathe without pain but I just can't seem to do that.. Life is just so different now and I would give anything to have our lives back again the way they were....even with all the ups and downs...I would take it all back again in a heartbeat. I will never forget that first kiss on the bench, our first date and all that followed....the beautiful family we created together and all the special moments I hold in my heart.....I miss you babe and i'll love u to the moon and back....

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your Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey Babe, Well here we are at our 40th wedding anniversary...certainly not some place I expected to be celebrating alone...but thank god for our kids cause they certainly helped me get through the day a little bit better. We started off with church which I have to say it feels good to be back there again even though I sometimes feel like a traitor not going to Q of P....but Anna is just so welcoming and I know you would have just loved her and she would have felt the same about you...cause everyone loves you...you would have enjoyed her sense of humor and her laugh...so different than what we have been use to over the last few years. From there we came home to me finding our family standing in the front yard surrounding the beautiful bench Rich made for me in honor of you. It is absolutely beautiful and you would love it...the dear and the beautiful words he carved into the back of it...just has so much meaning behind it...and to see all our grandbabies with their little matching shirts that say "this kid loves our pop-pop" and our kids all standing there with such love in their hearts and sadness in their eyes....well that just about covers how we are all feeling. I'm not gonna say it was an easy day cause it certainly wasn't but they definitely helped make it just a little bit easier. Then of course we watched the Giants game (well I watched part of it...it is just sometimes a little too hard knowing you are not down there in your room and it makes me feel just a little bit guilty that we are) but after I finished pinning up Crystals dress to hem, the kids all took me out to dinner at ledges...I was really surprised cause we had been eating all afternoon but they had sitters planned and wanted to do something to help me get through the day and to just have some adult time together. It was a wonderful night...other than you were not there....but they did a great job of sharing stories and special memories of you and I...you must be so proud of them, I know I am. Especially with Herb and crystal having to drive home tonight, I was so surprised that they stayed so late. But they all did a great job with making sure I didn't do much of anything except enjoy the day as much as I could. The only thing missing today other than you of course is my sign from you. Last year I got the unexpected hug from a stranger and I guess I was hoping for something today to make me feel like you are here with me. I just want to know that you see the sadness in my heart, that you know how much I truly miss you and how very much I will always love you. These words just don't seem to be enough when I read them, so I just truly hope you can see what is really in my heart. I miss you so much hon it actually hurts. I hope Caleb kept you busy today and that he made you smile but I also hope you missed me just a little too. It is sometimes hard for me to look at your photo cause it makes life too real for me now. I am just not sure if I will ever accept you truly being gone. Well my love happy 40th anniversary..i hope you like the yard and especially my new sitting area where I can come and talk to you when ever I feel the need to...but most of all I hope you will always feel my love for you...to the moon and back forever....xoxoxoxo

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Your Robbie posted a condolence

Hey Babe....Having a really lousy day today.. Can't stop thinking about 22 months ago today and holding you in my arms for the last time. How is it that this still doesn't feel real to me??? There are days when i just keep expecting you to walk through the door or come up behind me at work...I just don't know how to make myself know this is really real and forever. My heart just refuses to believe it and it still hurts so much. I'm just so tired of being so sad all the time yet i don't know how to fix my heart...i miss you so much, there are just no words to describe this pain. I worked outside all day yesterday in your garden and on the lighthouse and all i wanted was to hear you pull in the driveway and say "wow hon that looks great....i really like it"....but then if you were still here we would be doing all the yard work together and i wouldn't be making a memory garden for you.....I do hope you like what we did outside and i wish there was someway you could tell me...maybe it would make me feel just a little bit better. I so dread the holidays coming again...wish i could just sleep right through them and not have to deal with any of it and if it wasn't for the kids and grandbabies, i just might do that. They truly are what is holding me together these days and without them....well just don't know where i would be right now. I just hope you know how much i love and miss you and how everyday thoughts of you are on my mind and in my heart....i look for signs everywhere babe..... Love u to the moon and back forever....Robbie

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Robbie with love posted a condolence

Hey babe, all day long i have just been thinking that i dont believe i have been without you for almost two years yet it seems like it was just yesterday i held you in my arms for the last time. God hon i miss u so much....i just dont know how to get through the rest of my life like this....sometimes i feel like the sadness in my heart is sometimes more than i can handle. Right now im feelin pretty sick and i would give anything to feel ur hand brush across my forehead like u always did or hear u say "hows my peanut doin" .... Oh what i would give to hear those words one more time. I feel like life is just slippin right by me cause one day seems to roll into the next...life is just so hard without you here to share it with.....i miss you hon more than words can say.....to the moon and back forever i love you.......ur Robbie

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Sue Nordenhold posted a condolence

Dear Friends, On behalf of my entire family, we wish to extend our deepest and heartfelt sympathy to each and every one of you. You are an amazing family, one of the best...and I know how very proud Herb has been of all of you.. and Robin...you both were such a beautiful couple. You all are so incredible..we are so sorry for what you are all going through. Herb was amazing...the best!! We are all going to miss him...he has touch so many lives...our heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you through this difficult time...and will continue each and every day!! May the memories that you share give you great comfort. With our love and friendship always!! Sue Dave, Matt, Bill and Erin Nordenhold xoxoxo

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Jess posted a condolence

I love you so much Dad- it's so hard to see this page with YOUR info on it…it still feels like a bad dream. I hope you know how much you're loved, not only by your family but so many others. You'll always be in my heart Dad- give Caleb, Gram, Aunt Mary, Aunt Monta, and Uncle Charlie big hugs and kisses for me. I LOVE YOU

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Nichole posted a condolence

I can't believe I'm sitting here (well, standing as usual) watching the Giants game without you... it just doesn't seem real that you're gone. I'm so sad already and it's only been a day. I love you so much Pops... hope you and Caleb are doing your touchdown dance together right now.

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Carol Ulmer posted a condolence

Robin & Family, So sorry to hear of your loss of this wonderful man. He was a great person to know and to work with. What a disposition. You were so lucky to have him in your family. You have lost a family member, but Caleb has gained his grandpa. You all are in our prayers. Carol & John Ulmer

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Eric posted a condolence

Dad, I still can't believe that my father, In the 1986 post season, including their playoff games against the 49ers and the Redskins, and their Super Bowl win against the Broncos, the Giants outscored their opponents 105-23. you dad -Benny

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Jocelyn posted a condolence

Words cannot express the sorrow I have for you all during this difficult time. Herb was such a lively person with such a warm and welcoming personality. He has raised such wonderful and respectful children! Your family's strength and compassion for one another amazes me. I will continue to pray for you as you travel through this journey. We gained another angel to continue to watch over us. Love you guys!

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Stacy Kuhen posted a condolence

Mr. Mitschele was a true family man who always greeted me with open arms and a smile. His memory will live on in the hearts of all those who were lucky enough to know him. You are loved and will be missed. Keep a close eye on us and continue to provide guidance from above. Rest in peace.

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Patty Beaumont posted a condolence

My big brother, my hero, my friend. There are no words - you will be missed more than you know.

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Love from Your Robbie posted a condolence

My Herb, I'm sitting here with our beautiful kids, watching the Giants kick Green Bay's Ass right now and everytime we score or have a great run etc, they all look up to say thanks. But i have to say this is difficult not having you here. I just feel like this is a bad bad dream and i keep waiting to wake up and find out that everything is really okay and you are still sitting here watching the game with us. Baby my heart is broken into a million pieces and i don't know how to do this without you. We were supposed to be forever, remember, you promised me. So what do i do now?? How do i go on with life when the one person i wanted to share forever with is gone?? I need you to give me a sign that you are still here with me please and that you will help me be strong for these wonderful kids we raised. You must be so proud of them, watching how they have taken control of everything that has to be done plus all the extra stuff they have been doing for me. I gotta say, when it comes to our family...... we done good baby, we done good. I honestly don't know how i am going to get through these next few days, let alone the rest of my life without you. I call your cell phone or listen to old messages from you just so i can hear your voice. I just wish i could figure out a way to feel your hugs that i loved so much. I only hope you can see and feel how much you are loved by so many people because you truly are. I'm sure our little man was waiting for you in the sunroom that night cause you kept looking up every time you felt pain. That is the one thing helping me right now, is knowing you and our little man are together. Please give him hugs and kisses from his Gia and tell my family how much i miss them. I'll write again soon but please help me get through the next few days. I miss you more than words can say, i only hope you know how very much i loved you and always will. It's you and me baby for always and forever. I love you to the moon and back.....Your Robbie

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Melissa Case posted a condolence

Uncle Herb you will be missed. Our thoughts and prayers are with your family.

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Kathy DeChiara posted a condolence

Fathers hold their children's hands for just a little while...And their hearts forever. I only met Herb once, but I did know how much he was loved by all who knew him. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

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Cathleen Guerriero posted a condolence

Robin - the love you and Herbie shared was amazing whenever I would you see the two of you I was impressed with the bond you two shared not only for each other but your family. You were incredibly lucky to have so many loving memories of such a wonderful man. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you at this very difficult time. Cathi & Teddy

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Theresa Panzitta Valentino posted a condolence

Love and prayers to all of you at this time. Herb was watching and cheering the Giants on to victory last night! Our hearts go out to all of you...Hugs, Theresa and the Panzitta Family

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Victoria Lukasiewicz posted a condolence

As a neighbor of the mitschele family,I will always remember herb as a friendly nice person .

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Gina Panzitta Scaglione posted a condolence

Dear Robin and Family: I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of Herb. I will never forget what a great man he was. How can I forget when he was the first person to let me drive after babysitting for your kids since my dad was too afraid to let me behind the wheel. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you all during this extremely difficult time. xoxoxo Love always, Gina Panzitta Scaglione & Family

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Crystal Clark posted a condolence

Jess and family, My thoughts and prayers are with your family at this time.

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Barbara Pethick Kane posted a condolence

Robin, I am so sorry to hear of Herb's passing. We all knew you two were the perfect match when you guys hooked up. You have raised a wonderful, close family and you all are part of a strong, solid team to get each other through such a heartbreaking time. You were blessed to find your true soulmates from the beginning and yes, he will be with you forever. Our prayers are with you and all your family. Barb & Mike Kane.

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Barbara Gubitosa posted a condolence

Dear Robin, We are so saddened to hear about Herb's passing. Your family is very special to us and we are all praying for you to have peace in your hearts. You are truly blessed with such a wonderful and caring family to come together at this difficult time. Love Always, Art, Barbara and the Gubitosa Kids.

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Patrick J. Scanlon posted a condolence

Robin, I know it's hard to believe but I just don't know what to say...I'm numb, I'm sad, I'm angry. On the other hand I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to have had Herb (Tex)as a freind. I'm also grateful to have had the opportunity to witness the unconditional love and endearing faith you've had during this battle. And, I wanted you to know that the other day at the house I felt like I was home, with the big family, all supporting and caring for one another and the genuine hospitality. It's the most important thing on earth to me, and I'm certain that Herb felt the same way. There's this old movie about a famous Irish politician in Boston called "The Last Hurrah" with Spencer Tracy as the Mayor of Boston. One of his "followers" passes away at the end of the movie, and at the casket he shakes his head and says, "How do you thank a man for a hundred thousand laughs"...I'll see you on Thursady morning...Pat

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Clinton Mitschele posted a condolence

May our Love & Peace be with you.

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Janet & Chris DeCandido posted a condolence

Robin and Family, Our deepest Sympathies are with you in your loss.

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Joshua Wiener posted a condolence

My deepest sympathies to my friend and brother Herb, your family and friends. I'm so sorry for such great loss. Prayers are with you!

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Crystal posted a condolence

Dad, Even after these past few days of not having you around and preparing for your service, it still doesn't feel real. I can't believe I won't be able to pick up the phone to talk to you about fantasy or ask you for advice. My heart is broken knowing you'll never get to walk me down the aisle or give me one your bear hugs again. You have taught me so much over the years, things I will forever cherish and pass on to my own kids one day. There are not enough words to begin to describe the type of man you were..you were not only a father to the six of us but to so many of our friends as well. I can only hope you know just how much you are loved and will be missed. I will think of you every day and thank you for being the best dad I could have ever asked for. I love you with all my heart.

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L. Weldon posted a condolence

To the Mitschele family, I am deeply sorry for your loss. May God's word the Bible be the greatest comfort of all. Psalm 34:18 says that "Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart, and those crushed in spirit he saves". May he give you all the strength and courage you need. We all look forward to his kingdom, where he promises that death will be no more -Revelation 21:3,4.

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Ben Kulper MD posted a condolence

A great classmate missed by all of '71

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Alice and Dennis Coopers posted a condolence

Dear Robin and Family, Across the miles our hearts and prayers are with you at this time. Your love for each other and family has always shined bright, may your memories comfort you today and always. All our love, Alice and Dennis.

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Crowley posted a condolence

I remember being at the Randolph house. Mr Mitsch was sitting in the living room, on "his" chair watching the Mets game. From the basement, Herbie threw a nerf football that startled the resting Mr. Mitsch but as usual, he remained stoic. Herbie broke out into his frog laugh and continued until the seventeenth flying object made it's way towards Mr Mitsch. That guy could move! In what felt like a millisecond, Herbie was on the floor crying for Mom as his father batted him around like a mouse in the claws of a barn cat. Miss you big man.

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Gail Iacovelli posted a condolence

To the whole Mitschele family, Our sincere condolences. We are so sorry for your loss, and you are in our prayers. Love, The Iacovelli family....Gail, Michael, Jillian, and Tracy

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Sue Mitschele posted a condolence

Cousin we're going to miss you you went to soon. When my mom was about to pass away one of the things she said was she was going to see my sister Sandy and your sister Mary. I feel she'll be there for you too. I onlt met one other perso who could give a bear hug like you! I love and miis you. Sue Mitschele

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Mike and Denise Myers posted a condolence

To the Mitschele Family, We are so so sorry for your loss. Herb was a great man and so well liked. If there is anything we can do please let us know.

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Barbara McAuley-Henry posted a condolence

Dear Benny & family, Our throughts and prayers are with you during this most difficult time. Barbara & Chris Henry

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peggy boyle myers and family posted a condolence

we are so sorry for your loss. you are in our thoughts and prayers

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roger furman posted a condolence

to all of Herb's family, i extend my condolences. i enjoyed the short time i worked with Herb. he had a great sense of humor, a great sense of respect for everyone and an infectious personality. you always left a conversation with Herb feeling much better than you did before you talked to him. a special gift that he had and i will miss that. my thoughts go out to all the Mitschele family.

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Tessie Murray posted a condolence

I loved Herby! I miss him already. I love you all, Herb was a great man and I wish I was able to pay my respects however I could not make the times. Please know my heart and prayers are with you.

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Barbara Herzog posted a condolence

Robin and family... My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult. Barb

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Tim MIndy McQuaid posted a condolence

We are so very sorry to hear about Herb. He will always be remembered with his great smile and Huge heart. Robin, our heart goes out to you and and your family. We wish we could have made it to the service,our prayers will be with you today and always. With our deepest sympathy and love Tim and MIndy McQuaid

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Love from your Robbie posted a condolence

Hi Babe, This is the first morning after all is said and done, basically, some of the kids have gone back to try and pick up the pieces of their lives again and its tough not having them all here. Especially the babies cause they can really help to heal with their hugs, kisses and Emmy's soft little voice saying "you still sad Gia, Cause Pop pops gone". She just amazes me how she is so accepting of what has happened because she knows you are with Caleb. Why isn't that working for me? Why can't i just be happy that you are no longer in pain and that you and our little man are together again? Why can't i be less selfish in wanting you to still be here? I'm trying i really am but i just don't know how to do it. My heart is so empty and i just can't stop thinking about so many times we let things keep us from one another and i know i can't change that but it is eating me up inside cause there are so many things i hope you knew. This is my punishment, and believe me the pain in my heart is possibly more than i can bear. If only i could just turn my mind off and stop thinking for awhile the pain would stop for a moment. Not feeling you next to me or your arms around me is probably the hardest thing. Knowing i can't reach out and touch your hand or stroke your face......i just don't know if that pain will ever go away for me. I hope you can somehow let me know that you are still with me and maybe somehow that will bring me just a little bit of comfort. I love you my Herb all the way up to the sky!!! Love and hugs from Your Robbie

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John Janosik posted a condolence

Dear Robin and Family. May you find some peace knowing that Herb is now free of his earthly pain and is in complete comfort with the Lord. R.I.P Herb

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Ailbhe Parisella posted a condolence

Robin I'm so sorry for you and your family for the loss of your wonderful loving husband Herb. He was such a beautiful soul that put a smile on everyone's face when he approached them. He will always and forever be by your side and will continue to look down n protect you and the kids. Know that he is gone to a wonderful place where he is now resting and no longer suffering. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Love you robs xxx

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Herb IV posted a condolence

Pop - I'm still in shock I think. The last couple of weeks have been a blur, and as I sit on my couch the day after the funeral, the reality is really setting in. I am going to miss you terribly. You taught me so much about life...how to treat others; how to be a good person, father and husband. It's never going to be easy thinking of my life without you, but I know I have no choice. Thanks for being the best Dad, friend and mentor a guy could ask for. Rest in peace poppers. Love you forever.

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Sonja Palm posted a condolence

I had only met Herb in the last year or so working @ the Lodge. Robin has become a life long friend but through her, I had the honor of meeting Herb. The first thing he did every time he saw me was to give me one of his amazing hugs, no matter how busy our day was. Herb, you are missed tremendously by your family @ the Lodge. God bless your family.

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Love from your Robbie posted a condolence

Hi Baby, It has been one week today that I had to let go of your hand and allow Caleb to lead you safely home into the arms of our family angels that were waiting for you with smiles and cheers and big bear hugs. I am so torn up with the pain of losing you and the pain of watching our beautiful family struggle with missing you, helping me, and just trying to learn how to go on without you. This pain is such an unbelievable heart wrenching pain and i am finding it so difficult trying to move forward without you here by my side. I can't imagine how we will get through the holidays without you. In fact i wish i could go to sleep and wake up in 2013 cause the holidays are just going to be so painful. And you and i did everything together, the lasagna, the cookies and how will i ever do all the things you did yourself. The bacon wraps were your deal and the breads for every family, how can i possibly compete with your bows and wreaths??? Oh hon i just don't know how to do this life without you, i feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest. I'm trying i really am, but sometimes the pain is just so difficult and the tears just won't stop. I hope you know how much i love you and how empty my heart is without you here. loving you forever way up to the sky!!! your Robbie

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Jim posted a condolence

I wrote a letter to myelsf when I was 22 and am supposed to open it when I'm 33 (I guess I was inspired by the double-digits?). I wrote all these PREDICTIONS about what my life was going to be like I have a feeling I am going to be DE-PRESSED when I get to it in a few years! My letter to myelsf at 44 is going to be much more generous and allow for changing interests

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Rob and Jen Whitmore posted a condolence

Our hearts are filled with sorrow for you and your family. We are very blessed that Herb was part of our lives. Thoughts, love and prayers are with you all!

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ROBBIE......with love and hugs xoxoxoxo posted a condolence

Friday, January 6, 2023

Hey Babe, Well this letter is a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday all wrapped up in one. We had our annual Family Christmas Party and another great turnout. Actually I had 27 people sleep over this year which was great. Cleanup is another story but i wont bore you with that. It took me a trip to the recycling center and 3 weeks of garbage pickup to get rid of all of it but its finally gone. I got to spend some time with each of the kids on different days which was really nice. Jess and the girls stayed over xmas eve so i wasn't alone and it was a pretty quiet time. There is nothing better than seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child. I wish so much you were here to see all our grandbabies....they truly are the joy of my life and you would just love every single one of them. They are all so different with such different personalities and they really help keep me busy....but they all know you and we all talk about you so you are still very much a part of all of our lives. The new year is here and we brought it in at Crystals and it was a really nice night. I thought about all our new years when i would rush over to you from the spa to be there at midnight to bring in the new year with you. It seems like such a lifetime ago hon that we were able to do that and without you the hurt is still here and the pain in my heart hasn't lessened at all. I may look okay on the outside but inside my grief is so deep in my soul i know it will never go away. And here we are on your 70th birthday when we should be having a big celebration for you....and instead i am sitting here writing you a letter knowing you won't get it but writing it anyway...i guess it makes me feel like we are staying connected in some way. I would give anything to have you here to make this day special but i hope you know how much you are missed every single day....not just on your birthday. There are so many things going on in our kids lives right now .....I wish so much you were here for me to share it with. I miss you so much and I hope you are able to see all they have accomplished in their lives cause i know you are as proud as i am of all of them. And by now I am sure that you have met up with your buddy Donald. Another big loss for us here and another big gain for you up there. I wish life wasn't so hard or so sad but it really is. I hope today is special for you...you certainly have a lot of family members there to celebrate with you. Say hello to everyone for me and give my little man a big hug and tell them all i love them. I miss you so much babe and would love to get some kind of sign from you today just to let me know you haven't forgotten me.....YASMMFPITWWW!!! TE AMO and HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!!!!

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Robbie lit a candle

Thursday, February 24, 2022

Hey Babe, I don't know why I can't seem to go to bed at a reasonable hour but here it is 1 am and I just keep finding things to do. I think its just cause it's so lonely by myself i put it off as long as i can. Daytime i can handle but nighttime is just still so tough for me. I guess thats why i love when the kids sleep over cause it just helps the loneliness. This month is always tougher since it's Caleb's anniversary. Can you believe its been 15 years already? How is that even possible? Just like how will it be 10 years for you this year? I just hate even going to the cemetary alone anymore and this year i probably won't get there cause we are suppose to get some major snow storm on Friday. It's been a tough winter not really going out because of this ankle and not working. I am still waiting to hear from unemployment. Man if you could help me out here I would really appreciate it hon. it's alot of money they owe me but if i lose the appeal i'm not sure what i will do. Honestly i just don't even want to go back to work yet. I still can't be on this ankle all day cause if I am, then i suffer at night. And i just don't want to be around people like i use to be. I just wish i could find something to do at home. I just love being home and helping the kids out when they need a sitter and doing some projects around the house. I want to start getting some painting done around here. It's time....i need a pick me up so im gonna go look at some colors tomorrow and then hopefully get something started here. i can paint some of the rooms but not sure if i can stand on a ladder yet with this ankle. It's just so annoying cause there are still so many things i am afraid to do now, even moreso than before. But i am slowly getting back to some kind of normal as much as i can. I really want to go see herbs new place but i guess i have to wait till they say i can come cause they are doing all kinds of work. Kind of a bummer cause now is the time i could go and not have to rush back but i'm just waiting to hear from them that i can come. Well i am starting to get tired so i guess its time i hit the hay. Maybe i can actually get some sleep tonight. Can you give our boy an extra special hug from his Gia tonight and tell him how much i miss him everyday. And always know that i think about you every day and every night. I miss you more than words can say. to the moon and back again, i will always love you till forever.. xoxoxoxo your Robbie

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Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, January 1, 2022

Hey Babe, I know I just wrote you at Christmas but I'm sitting here now on New years day 2022 and just wanted to say happy new year as I remember all the years of working at the spa and then racing to woodloch by 11:50 to spend that magical. new years moment with you. But tonight I sit here alone now...(jess and the girls came to keep me company but they are in bed) thinking of you and missing you and those special moments of bringing in the new year together every year and then rushing to call all the kids and making sure we spoke to every one of them no matter where they were....I miss those precious moments of time spent together so much and I am so thankful for the memories even though they sometimes hurt just thinking about them. I hope you are celebrating with everyone and i hope you got a big hug from shoe since she is also there now...it's hard not having you two here to share things with. I love you by Herb.....Happy New Year!!! xoxoxoxoxo. Ur Robbie

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Robbie with Love lit a candle

Saturday, September 25, 2021

Hey Babe, Well I know i am so late with this letter and i am so sorry. I missed out anniversary but I thought about you every minute of the day. 47 Years we would have celebrated this year...so close to 50....how crazy is that. God I just miss you so much and more with every day that passes. There is so much going on here right now and I wish so much you were here to put your arms around me and tell me it would all be okay. I am so overwhelmed with the house, the loss of my job and now these health issues and tests i have coming up. I am scared and nervous about all of it and if only you were here i know my anxiety would be much less than it is right now. Can you believe after 13 years i lost my job? And the comments that caused me to lose it really weren't totally mine but they wouldn't even listen to what i had to say and even if they did listen it wouldn't have changed anything...for some reason they really wanted me out...well they got their way. My heart hurts cause I really did love my job and most of the people i met there and now I am struggling with trying to hold onto this house and take care of myself too. I have some tests coming up and I am so nervous and wish you could be with me when I have them done, so please let me know you are with me to help let go of my anxiety and stay positive. And please help me with this mortgage stuff hon..I have worked so hard to get where i am today and i am so close so please please help me get where i need to be. I miss you babe so much and want to keep writing but not feeling so hot right now and i am exhausted so i am gonna go get some sleep. I love you my Herb and I will write again soon....xoxoxo your Robbie...xoxoxo

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ur Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, February 25, 2021

Hey babe, Trying to stay awake so i can write to you tonight. When i think of where we were 14 years ago right now it makes my heart hurt all over again. It was the last night we got to see our little man..well the last night I got to see our little man since you are now with him all the time. I can remember that night like it was yesterday. The pain, the tears the ripping out of our hearts. How we prayed together in that big room in that big circle with family and friends praying to God for a miracle.....to not take our sweet little man from us. I remember getting up every morning and going on the computer to update the outside world on his progress and asking for prayers and positive energy to help us through each difficult moment. I remember looking out those big glass panes and looking at all the sheens and just thinking how i couldn't wait till he woke up and we could show him all those sheens and how excited he would be when he saw them. I remember sitting by him and holding his little hand and begging him to just give us "little bits" of anything to show us he was still with us and then for years i couldn't even say or hear those words without crying...cause the pain of those memories kept breaking little pieces of my heart. There is so much pain and grief when i remember back to that time and not having you here makes it so much harder to deal with. I don't know how 14 years has already passed yet it feels like only yesterday. The pain is still there and it always will be. As much as i want to celebrate the short time we had with him it is still so hard to do because i miss him every day....just as i miss you every day. I wish you were here to put your arms around me and just hold me so i could know things were okay. I have so much anxiety with so much in life right now..and trying to save this house is taking everything out of me. I need your help hon...i need you to show me how to save it ...i am running out of time and ideas as to what to do...I am just so tired of fighting and not sure how much fight i have left in me so please please help me hon. I just don't have it in me to start over again, emotionally, physically or mentally. I really don't....not by myself. I am just asking you to show me a way .... Well...i need some sleep so i have to go now. Can you hug my little man really xtra tight today and tell him how much i love him and miss him. just tell him to the moon and back for always... and i miss you too babe more than you would ever believe...I could really use a big hug tonight....I love you ...yammfpitwww.....te amo!!!

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Robbie with love posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, January 7, 2021

Hey babe....well i couldn't miss this chance to wish you a happy 68th birthday. I wish so much you were here for us to celebrate it together and i will be thinking about you all day but at least you have your dad and brother and sisters and of course our sweet caleb there with you along with most of my family. And now you even have Big Bob who has joined you and Pop Pellarin. This was a tough month hon with so many losses and alot of sadness. The highlight was that Jess adopted Amelia and it was such an exciting day for her ...you would have loved her. Her silliness, her laughter and her very quick witt..much like her momma. She is such a joy to be around and i know she would have loved you to pieces. She talks about you like she knows just who you are...it makes my heart smile. And then we have Faith...the adorable little girl who has stolen the hearts of Nik, Dan, the kids and all the rest of us. She is just the sweetest thing and I think she learned how to give hugs just like you. I have never had a little one wrap her little arms around my neck and give the best hug ever. They took her away from nik and dan this week and it has just about broken their hearts so if you could find a way to watch over them and maybe one day a miracle will bring her back home to them. You must be looking down on the way this world is going and it must really sadden your heart to see whats going on. It is a really scary place right now babe and it's even scarier being alone to deal with it all. I am still trying to save our house and i am really getting nervous that i am gonna mess it up. I am worried about my friends who are really struggling with being sick and now i am nervous about this freckle in my eye. Gosh i wish you were here to lean on and to have your shoulder to lay my head on at night and your arms to hold me so tight and make me feel like everything would be okay, just like you always did. I miss you more than i have words to say and my heart is especially hurting tonight without you here. I hope you know i am thinking about you always and wishing you were here with me. I hope you have a great day with everyone and make a super special wish when you blow out your candles. I love you more than life itself and i am so sad that our time was cut way too short but you will always live on in my heart for always.....Loving you till forever......your Robbie

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Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Hey babe...well here we are...8 years later . My heart still hurting, the lonliness sometimes seems unbearable and so many things went wrong today. I am just so confused and tired of having to do most things by myself and being told the wrong things. I am still in disbelief that you have been gone for 8 years already. I just don't know how 8 years went so fast. When does the pain stop? when does my heart stop hurting so much? I just miss you so much and today with all that went wrong with social security...well i just wish i could have had you here to talk with. You would have known what to do and maybe that would have made the day a little bit easier to deal with. I don't have too much to say since i wrote you something on the funeral website. I really am emotionally and physically drained tonight so i am gonna say good night and i will try and write again soon. I love you my herb...yammfpitwww!!!!!

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Your Robbie lit a candle

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Hey babe, I really wish you were here right now. Watching some of those couples at the spa and realizing how we will never be able to share what they share ...walking hand in hand, having massages or just sitting on the couch listening to music at night. I miss those simple things more than I ever would have thought possible. But I am really missing you cause I am remembering where we were 13 years ago tonight. At chop.....praying, crying, hoping, begging, pleading, believing....we were so hopeful never believing we would go home without our little man...and yet here I am sitting here alone without him and without you. A part of me is so jealous that you two are together and I feel so alone right now. Two of my closest friends are sick and I am so afraid of losing them, Herb and his family are moving to Florida so I feel like I am losing them too and you aren't here for me to lean on and to tell me its all gonna be okay. I don't know how to be okay anymore hon cause I miss you so much and my heart hurts all the time. I am so grateful for what I have but little by little my life is falling apart and it scares me. I can't help my friends get better and I can't imagine my life if they don't get better. I pray everynight that you will watch over them and keep them safe and help them stop hurting..please hon ...help them get better. Tonight can you wrap your arms around our little man and hug him really tight for me and tell him how much I miss him and wish he was still here and then let him do the same to you cause I miss both of my guys more than anyone can know.. I would give anything to just feel your arms around me tonight hon...even in my dreams...just to feel you for a moment and feel one of your incredible hugs....so if at anytime you can spare one...i'm here just waiting …..I miss you so much babe and I will love u to the moon and back for always. There is so much I want to tell you but not tonight...just a little too sad right now but I will write again soon and update you on all the good things that are happening but for tonight I just want to be a little sad from missing you and our little man.. Be with him tomorrow and let him know that we are all remembering...….xoxoxo Robbie

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Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Monday, January 27, 2020

HI babe..i know I am a couple days late but my work schedule this week has just been too crazy for me to get to the computer even though I have thought about you every 10 minutes or so. I am truly exhausted from this week but I still have two more days to go and then I will be off for a week. It's superbowl weekend and I have about 20 rooms going this year and its just not the same without you there. Even though all the kids and grandbabies are all there, there is just a piece missing. and Yes you are that piece. It is just not the same anymore. I only do it for the family but it is not something I look forward too like I use to without you there to spend the time with. I miss taking cookies around to everyone with you, I know how much you use to love doing that and I think that is why I continue to do all that baking for them ….because of how much it meant to you to deliver them all to all your fellow workers. So now Ryan has picked up that job with me and helps me deliver them all each year. I'm so grateful for his help but I still miss you so much. Thank you for sending all the signs to Cindy...she has been finding pennies, dimes and quarters everywhere and she truly feels they are from you...and they have been giving her the hope that she so badly needs right now so thank you for that. Hon I really need you to be there for Mo tomorrow...please let them give her news that they can fix whatever is wrong...please don't let them tell her there is nothing they can do...please hon....I need her in my life hon...please ...give her a sign that she will get better.... And is that you ...the big buck that comes around here?? and was that my Dad and Caleb with you the other night?? I hope if it is you come back again cause it really makes my heart smile everytime I see them. Well I have to go to bed now hon...I am just so exhausted and can't really stay awake anymore...please be with Mo tomorrow..... I love you babe and I think of you every single day.....xoxoxoxo your Robbie forever

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Ur Robbie posted a condolence

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Well my love....since it is after midnight I figured I might as well wish you a happy birthday now instead of waiting till tomorrow. There isn't much else for me to say since I just wrote to you a few days ago but I couldn't miss the chance to tell you how special this day is...I just wish you were here for us to celebrate it with you. There is just so much going on right now and I would give anything for you to be here to put your arms around me and tell me everything would be okay cause I am not sure it will be. From the mortgage and this pending foreclosure and Cyndi and mo and work and now starting calebs fundraising stuff....I am just so overwhelmed right now trying to make everything work out and what I wouldn't give for one of your infamous hugs...the one that always made me feel secure and loved. You took away my insecurities and could always make me feel safe and feel like we could tackle anything together and right now I am feeling so very lost and alone and so so scared. I wish so much I could just turn back time....And I do wonder was that you here twice today cause he was a pretty awesome looking buck that came twice ... was that your sign for me that you are here??? Regardless I am gonna believe that is why he was here and I love that he came back a 2nd time. I hope you have a wonderful birthday my Herb and I am sure you will be surrounded by your brother and sisters and our special little man....I miss you every single day of my life and I love you still to the moon and back again... Happy Birthday Baby!!! Love ur robbie

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Love ur Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Hey babe, here we are again..another month gone by... I can't believe soon it will be 7 years and I still can't wrap my head around that. Sometime I still can't believe you are really gone and for some reason lately I have really been having a hard time. I can't seem to get out of this depression I have been feeling and its pretty scary. I just am having a hard time climbing out of this big dark hole I feel like I have fallen into lately and missing you so much is just making things worse. I just don't know how to make this pain go away. This mortgage is putting me over the edge I think cause I just don't know what else to do or where else to go for help. I am so afraid of losing our house but I don't know how to make things happen. I have tried so hard Hon and written so many letters to get help but no one is listening and the people that call can't do anything for me. I wish you would show me something that would help. I honestly don't know how much more I can handle....i'm trying I really am but sometime I feel like the further I get, the more I fall behind. I don't know hon but I really need your guidance in so many ways... I need your help to fight this depression that is taking over my soul. I just miss you so much every single day and ever since pops disappeared it makes me more sad. I know it's silly but that cat always made me feel like you were here. She always knew when I needed some special attention and would stay right with me by the sink like you use to do. Please send her back home hon...I need to feel like you are still here and she helps me feel that. And please help me get out of this awful funk....I could sure use a sign from you right now...just something to give me more focus...I love you babe and I miss you more than words can say.....

L

Loving you till forever.... posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Hey babe...I am so sorry I am a couple days late with this but its been kind of a tough weekend. How is it possible we are celebrating our 45th anniversary yet we are not together??? You should be here and we should have been together to commemorate this incredible milestone in our lives. I am feeling so empty without you right now and this was a really tough one for me. I just can't seem to stop crying from missing you so much. The hurt just wont stop and I feel like I miss you more with each day that passes. I am so thankful that the kids really kept me busy this weekend but it didn't make me miss you any less. I was kind of disappointed not to get any real signs from you on sunday and I just can't help but wonder if you even thought about me or remembered what special day it was. I hope you did......for me it was all I could think of. The day when our lives together truly began. I just wish I could stop being so sad these days but I just can't seem to get myself together. The pressures of fighting to keep our house, my job and how it takes everything in me to get up and go there anymore because I just don't want to work anymore. I just want to be home taking care of the house, or spending time with the kids and grandkids, visiting friends that I never get to see or just having no commitments to do anything at all. I am just getting so tired hon and the fighting I have had to do with the mortgage company is really wearing me out. It is truly taking everything out of me and I am not sure how much longer I can fight this fight. I am so hoping this phone call I got tonight will pan out to be something real and not another big let down cause I just don't know how much more I can handle. I just want you to know how much I miss you and how often I think of you which is only every day all day long. I know we weren't perfect hon but we were good even through all the ups and downs and I would give anything to still have you here so I could do some things different. My biggest fear is that you didn't know how very much I love you cause I did and I do and I always will ….till forever. I am so sorry for so many things but I only hope that you can forgive me for any mistakes I made and know that you will always be my one and only true love......Happy Anniversary Hon (even though I am a few days late) Love you till forever to the moon and back.... ur Robbie

y

your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Hey babe..…. Well I wrote the other night and then the computer erased it and I havent' had a chance to get back here till now. It was a really long work week with the extra hours I picked up and I am pretty exhausted but I have two more long days to get through and then I have a few days off to hopefully spend with the kids. There are so many things I wish I could share with you cause it is so hard being alone and having no one to share stuff with. Sometimes the lonliness is really overwhelming and with our anniversary coming up....well I am just having some really tough days. Your Dad turns 90 on Thursday and we are having a party for him so I hope its ok if I go....to represent you. I know there were issues but he is your dad and the only dad I have left so I will go for both of us. I hope you can pay some special attention to our ryan these days . He has a lot of things going on in his life right now and could really use some extra prayers, guidance and support. There are just so many things I want to say to you but I will wait until I have a few more minutes of time....I am just so exhausted right now that I really can't think very well ….I love you babe and miss you more every day......xoxoxoxo

R

Robbie with love posted a symbolic gesture

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Hey Babe ...I know I am a couple days late with this but it has been a couple of crazy busy days and I had to get some things done at home and work was frustrating as well as busy so I'm sorry. There are so many things going on right now that I really need your help and your hugs. You need to be there for Cheryl right now..she has been through so very much and it makes my heart hurt to see how much she has had to deal with. It also makes me wonder if we should have gone into the city for treatment...why didn't we even try that hon??? Would you have had a chance if we did?? I don't know but I know I think about it all the time although I don't think I would have wanted to watch you go through what Cheryl has gone through, but maybe if it would have kept you here longer …..well I would have tried to convince you to do anything I guess.... And thank you for watching over Cindy and helping her with her fight....I am so hoping that she is on the way to getting better. And now we have another fight and that is for poor little Faith who they now think has an issue with her heart. She is the sweetest little baby that Nik and Dan want so much to adopt but her family is fighting to get her back and they shouldn't have her but my concern now is that she will be able to get the help she will need to fix her heart problems. So please watch over her and help them find the answer to fix her breathing...please...I can't watch our daughter go through this kind of pain again hon especially without you by my side.... And now I have all this rock and dirt to take care of... man I sure do miss you hon and I will think about you with every wheelbarrow push. I just hope it looks good when I finally get it finished. A lot of work to do here hon and it sure is not easy trying to do most of it by myself so I don't have to bother our kids who are all so busy. I truly wish you were here so we could do it together just like we did everything else....I miss you babe and I hope you like what I am trying to do around here...I am working on the front walkway cause so many of the blocks were broken from the cold last year so I am putting stone out there...I hope you really like it and can let me know in some way. well I have to finish eating so I can go to bed cause I have some long days coming up so just know I miss you every minute of the day and I look for you every night in my dreams....come and lay with me please and just let me feel you next to me.....that is what I wish for... good night my love.....xoxoxoxo your Robbie loves you!!

L

Love you much....Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Monday, May 27, 2019

Hey Love, I know I am a few days late but I was at Herbs for the weekend celebrating birthdays for two special girls you never got to know....I hope you are able to see just how special they both are. You would have loved Harper..she reminds me of caleb sometimes with her funny things she does and I think she would have made you laugh a lot. And Ameilyiah ..well she is a little doll and she would have made you smile. We celebrated their birthdays this weekend and also had a little get together for Jess with her college friends for her 40th birthday...Hon can you believe she is turning 40???? How did that happen so fast??? I just want so much for her to be happy and find someone to love and take care of her. I hate that she has to work so hard and take care of the girls herself...I just want her to have the kind of love that we had...even with all its ups and downs...I wouldn't trade what we had for anything...She has done an amazing job with both girls and I am so proud of her....but I just wish someone was there to take care of her now.....sure wish you would send someone special for her..... And then Crystal has now purchased a new house and I am just hoping this is the best thing for her and John. I worry about her and she seems really happy but I just hope the new house is all that she wants it too be and that her relationship with john is all she wants it too be. But you know our girl and when she makes her mind up to do something....she is all in....so I just hope and pray all works out... Being at Herbs just makes me miss you so much because I look at these girls and I know how you would have just adored them all and they would have just worshiped you too. Oh if only we could have a do over babe....I would do so many things differently.... I miss you so much and think of you every minute of every day.... xoxoxo yammfpitwww!!!! Robbie

L

Lovin you always......Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, May 2, 2019

Hey Babe, So I didn't write on your anniversary cause I wanted to wait till the fundraiser was over to I could tell you how awesome it went and it was awesome. We had our best year so far. We raised almost $60,000 just from monetary and the tricky tray. I don't even know how much we raised at the golf yet but the tricky tray was terrific. I know I kept asking you for a sunny day but I realized that the day you gave us although it was raining it brought the people out and we had a great day so I realized that you as always, knew what we truly needed and then Monday ..it was absolutely a perfect golf day for the first time in so long. It is so hard to believe that 12 years ago at the first fundraiser we raised $8,000 and here we are raising $60,000. We have worked so hard to get where we are hon...I keep thinking about the times we wrapped all these baskets in our basement...oh the work we put in ourselves ...but it has paid off when I see all the people that come out for this weekend and the families that we have been able to help so far and continue to help every day. I know you have to have some part in all of this even tho you aren't here with me....it's because of you that I can keep going some days. It makes me so happy when I see Paul and the daves with your picture in their cart....like you are still there playing right along side of them....And the video this year just broke my heart yet made me so happy at the same time to hear your laugh along side Caleb and watching him tease you with his laugh as he mimicked you...god I just miss those days and I miss you so very much....I honestly don't know how Jess can watch these videos over and over again...she amazes me. Well hon so much more I want to say but I am exhausted tonight and this sore on my finger is making it really hard to type so I am gonna go for now but I will be back soon..... loving you more every day.....ur Robbie....

L

Loving you forever posted a condolence

Monday, March 25, 2019

Hey babe , it's been a tough two months and I just want to ask u to help me know what to do to fix my head and whatever is wrong...but most of all please watch over cindy tomorrow as she starts her chemo.. please hon be with her as she tackles this monster ... I am so worried about her and not sure what is gonna happen.. she needs all the support and help she can get .. please hon dont let this get her babe.. she has had such a rough life and doesn't deserve what is happening so please watch over her.. and u need to be with Cheryl too fir all she has gone through .. she is an amazing person who also deserves a break from the pain and hurt she too is going through. I miss you babe so much and I would give anything to see ur face, feel ur touch or hear ur laughter again .. Just know how very much u are loved and missed.... every single day!!! To the moon and back...ur Robbie

L

Love you ......ur Robbie lit a candle

Saturday, March 2, 2019

Hey babe.... Oh how I wish there were phones in heaven cause I really could use a good conversation with you right now. Hon this has been the worst month ever of being sick and I am really feeling scared now cause I still am not totally better. I am so nervous that I will have to have an MRI and I am so afraid they will find something. If only I hadn't fallen that day I wouldn't be as worried as I am right now. I have never been so sick and I would give anything to have you walk in here and touch the top of my head and say "hows my peanut doin".....God to just feel your arms around me right now …..even in my sleep....I would give so much to feel you hon. I am really scared that something may be wrong with me and i'm scared because one of my best friends was just diagnosed with cancer....yes hon Cindy has cancer....and it's bad...my heart is hurting so much for her because she has gone through so much already in her life.....I just can't seem to stop crying for either one of us … Hon please give me some kind of a sign as to what to do for me....have the test or not?? and please please watch over shoe hon...she doesn't deserve this and I am really worried about her. I am so tired of being sad and depressed and I keep hoping life is going to get better...Is it hon??? Please stay with me hon and help me watch over cindy...she needs all the prayers and good thoughts and maybe a miracle too...maybe you could put in a good word for her about the special kind of person she is.. God I just miss you so much babe....much more than you will ever know. Well I need to sleep cause I am still trying to get better and I have to work in the morning..... I love you my Herb.....to the moon and back for always...xoxo Robbie

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Well babe I just wrote this whole long letter to you and somehow it deleted....what a shocker.....I have been so sick this week with bronchitis and I am totally physically exhausted and am having a hard time breathing. What I wouldn't give to have you come home and reach over the couch, rubbing my head, asking "how's my little peanut doing?" Just to hear those words or feel your touch just one more time....I have been thinking a lot lately and I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me if I ever made you feel less of the man you were because I hope you know that you have been my hero since the night you walked into Flos when I was just 16 and we met for the 2nd time..you had me at "hello but no I don't remember you...oh wait it was you on that picnic bench by the fire????" Oh the laughs we have had over that one huh?? But the memories and I think it took me a couple months but I truly won your heart and the next two years were a whirlwind weekend romance. I have loved you with all my heart from that moment, even through all our ups and downs, and I will love you for always. I miss you every single day of my life and my heart is with you cause you took a big piece of it when you left me..Please watch over our family and keep them safe...some of them need a little extra tlc lately, they have been going through some tough times and thank you for watching over Jess and Harper last week when she had her accident...I know the angels were there for her...so tell them all thank you. I love you babe to the moon and back for always.....Robbie xoxo

Y

Your Robbie lit a candle

Monday, January 7, 2019

Hey babe...just want to say happy birthday to you..i hope you are having a great birthday with Caleb and all of our family but I have to say it's been really rough here. I know the kids are hurting today and I have just been a mess all day long Every time I think I have it together...I fall apart again. I am exhausted from taking decorations down and from crying all day. . I keep waiting for things to get a little bit easier but they don't..i just can't stop missing you and my heart just hurts so badly. I have worked so much the last two days trying to put Christmas away for another year which kept me really busy but i still had many meltdowns. I hope i can sleep tonight cause i am really exhausted now. I miss you so much babe and i would give anything to just feel your arms around me tonight. I miss your hugs and the way our bodies molded into each other at night. I still look for your hand to hold and your feet to tuck mine into when we slept...i don't think this pain will ever go away and sometimes the lonliness is so overwhelming ...i just dont' know how long i can handle feeling like this. It is sometimes really hard feeling so alone but not wanting to be with anyone else. I miss you so much babe and i hope your birthday was special for you today.....Loving you till forever to the moon and back.....ur Robbie

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Hey babe...Well another year has come and gone and here we go again. It is just so unreal how fast this past year went but then it seems like every year seems to go faster and faster... This was the first year I have had off on New Years since you left me and I was gonna offer to work but decided to stay home and Patty, Paul and the girls came up and Jess and her girls came out and we ate and played games and really had a nice time. Eric, Nic and the kids came over and surprised us around 11:15 which was a nice surprise and hung out till the new year got here. It was so nice not working and coming home to an empty house to sit and cry alone all night but it didn't make me miss you any less. There isn't a minute in the day that I am not missing you. But it was ironic or a godincidence but I would rather believe it was you that made me look for that pen for jess's game and as I looked under the cushions,.there it was....my sign...one of your dimes. I haven't had a sign for a long time and this was the best way to start out the new year with a sign from you, so thank you hon. I really needed that!! I hope you can unjderstand how much I need these every now and then and how grateful I always am when I find one. I hoipe this is a good year for all of us babe. Please continue to watch over our kids and all our grandbabies and keep them all safe.. I love you forever to the moon and back, please don't ever forget that. Happy New Year my Herb....Always yours, Ur Robbie

R

Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, December 27, 2018

Hey Babe...Well I wanted to get here yesterday but it was kind of a crazy day with the kids being here so I figured I would wait until tonight when it was just a little quieter. The little ones kept me pretty busy so I didn't have time to think which was a good thing cause that means I had no time to think about how much my heart hurts and how much I miss you. But today I have thought about you all day and I wish I could have gotten some kind of a sign from you to let me know you are still here with me....what I would give to feel your presence right now. I hope you saw the party on Saturday....the day of the year when we are all together...and I hope you are proud of all of us that we still hold this party and family still come. It's so fun to see all the little ones again with santa but I have to say it seems to get harder to get the house put back together after its all over. We made 40 breads this year and cookie helped me with all of them ….you would have been proud of all the different things we made. She even made candles and even hers looked like yours did hon so we will retire the candle breads now. Well its back to work tomorrow, unfortunately ...I have no desire at all to go in but I also have no choice so I will do my best to make the most of it.. Well I am really tired and need to hit it soon..i have a couple long days ahead of me but I just want to say Merry Christmas and i'm thinking of you and missing you every minute of the day. Loving you for always to the moon and back.... Robbie

K

Kerry Bell posted a condolence

Thursday, November 29, 2018

I am so sorry, for finding this out 6 yrs later, but he was a great man and an awesome captain at breezewood acres when I had worked for him years ago. His family and him are some of the greatest people anyone could ever meet. So sorry for your loss

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Hey babe....I am sitting here at the end of the day after being with some of the kids and patty and paul and remimiscing about stories of you for most of the afternoon. I am still trying to figure out how to stop missing you so much but it isn't working. There are just so many things I miss about you and I am really trying but my heart still hurts. It was so good to hear stories about you today, it did make the day a little bit easier, I only wish the other kids could have been here with us so we could have all been together. I think one of the things I miss the most is that you can't see these awesome little ones grow up and to be here to teach them all the things you helped to teach our own children. They are the ones who are really missing out.... We shared so many stories today of things about you ...we had some really good laughs but it also made us sad too at times. All I can say is how much you are missed by so many people hon....today and everyday.. I love you to the moon and back for always.....Robbie

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Hey babe, one month shy of your anniversary and I feel at a loss of what to say tonight. The kids were here yesterday and I kept thinking about how you should be here with me, watching these little ones looking for candy and treats and dancing, they would surely make you smile just as they do me. And today we went to Niks and I just really felt lost without you there. Maybe its the time of year and your anniversary coming up or maybe its just that I miss you so much still but sometimes the lonliness is so overwhelming that Even though the kids help fill the void of you not being here they can't fill that one spot in my heart … no one can....It's a spot that belonged only to you..and unless you come back urself....and prove that it's you.....I truly don't believe there will ever be anyone to fill that spot ever again. I just wish I could stop missing you so much. This time of year is especially hard.... As I am sitting here missing you and writing this the phone rang...it was Frankie..checking in on me for you which means so much to me. It's been awhile since he has called so I really appreciated it as I am sure you do too. It's just a tough time of year and I know this month is only gonna get tougher so I hope you can be here with me to help me get through these days coming up. Thank you for watching over Emma this week and letting her tests come back clear. And keep an eye on Joann with her waiting for her biopsys this week.... I love you babe and miss you every single day... to the moon and back....xoxoxoxoxo Ur Robbie...

L

Love you babe posted a symbolic gesture

Monday, September 24, 2018

Hey love, Another month has past and we are getting closer to your anniversary which still just doesn't seem real to me at times and I still miss you as much now as I did when you first left us....no I think maybe even more now. Each day is still a challenge to get up and go to work knowing you won't be there to pick me up or stop by to run your walkie talkie up my back....God how I miss those little things you did that I just always thought you would be there to continue doing. I'm not feeling well tonight and what I would give to hear you come in and say how's my little peanut doing as you rubbed my head..these nights I really hate being alone. I'm trying to work on our bedroom and change things just like you said you wanted me to do. It's kind of tough but I'm trying. I hope you like the colors cause I know you wanted some kind of blue and you did like gray so I hope it comes out the way I think it will. I just want it to be done now so I can put the room back together again and start enjoying it. I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow so I can start the rest of the painting. I could use a little moral support or maybe a nice sign would be awesome. I hope you can give nik and dan some support on Wednesday when they go to court for Xavier....this has been a long battle for them and they just want whats best for this little boy. And jess goes to court tomorrow for that little baby girl....please make the courts do what is right for her... I miss you babe so very much and wish so much you were still here..i just can't wrap my head around so much pain....Loving you till forever.. your Robbie

U

Ur Robbie for alwats posted a condolence

Saturday, September 15, 2018

Hey Babe.. can't believe I got through another anniversary without you ... crystal did a great job of helping me to celebrate our love tonight and I know u must be feeling very thankful that I wasn't alone. I remember our last anniversary dinner together ... it was in the spa cafe where we shared a late lunch on my break from work.. we ate sues tuna fish but it didn't matter cause we were together.. if only I could share one more anniversary dinner with you..... I hope u celebrated a little bit hon with all our loved ones today. I do miss ur beautiful cards u always gave me and this was the 1st year I didn't get a card from sharon.. makes me sad... but I did have a great night with Crystal ... dinner drinks movie and some nice conversations.. I was well taken care of so I hope u were too. I miss you my love more than I can explain to anyone... I just hope u know that .. well I'm gonna go to sleep now and hope and pray u come to me in my dreams tonight .. yammfpitwww!! Loving u to the moon and back for always ... happy 44th anniversary ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Ur Robbie

L

Loving you till forever posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Hey Babe, I'm sorry this is late, my computer was down for a few days and then work was kind of crazy but John got the computer up and running again over the weekend so here I am...finally. This is a tough time of year with all our anniversaries coming up this week and being alone to celebrate them all....I could really see myself going into a downward spiral but I am trying to stay busy and not think too much. I spent the last few days really cleaning up the house..finally did the floors which were in desperate need of being cleaned, I moved the living room furniture around, and I moved the treadmill and vibrafirm out of our bedroom and into the sunroom so I can start to get ready to paint the bedroom like you said you wanted me to do. I am really excited to change it up a bit and make it feel like a bedroom again. I just hope you give me a sign if you like it. I am gonna keep this short cause I will be back next week for our anniversary. Help me get through this week hon cause my emotions are all over the place right now and it wouldn't take much for me to lose control. I am thinking of you constantly and missing you like crazy....I love you babe ...

L

Loving you Forever, Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Monday, July 30, 2018

Hey Babe....I tried to write the other night but i couldn't get on the website for some reason. I know i'm a few days late but this is the first chance i have had to try and get on again. I am so worried about our Nik right now. She forgot Mr. Bear at the great wolf lodge and they still have not found it. Please hon..please work with Caleb to help bear find his way back home to nik. She is sooooo very upset and is carrying around this awful guilt that she can't let go of because she forgot it. Please babe ...i have been praying to st. Anthony every day but i don't know what else to do so we need your help to bring Mr. Bear back home again.. Also we are suppose to be going to the shore again this weekend but the weather isn't looking too good so i am not sure what is gonna happen. It just isn't the same without you there...i miss waling the boardwalk and watching you play your favorite card gard game in the arcade. Maybe this year i can remember your tickets to turn them in for a prize. I just wish i felt more excited to go but i just really miss you so much. Please keep Herb safe with all his traveling he is doing the next few weeks and watch over his girls while he is away. I hope you can see all the work Ryan is doing right now....he just turned over his first house and i am so proud of what he has done. I know he wishes you were here cause he knows you would be working right along side of him. He misses being able to ask your advice on things so i hope somehow you can let him know you are always with him in everything he is doing. God there are just so many reasons i miss having you here. ...please watch over all our kids and our grandbabies and please please help Mr. Bear find his way back home where he is so needed............ Loving you to the moon and back.......Robbie

Y

Your Robbie loves you posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Hey Babe, Well the fundraisers are all over and we had our final dinner last night. Nik and i spent the day cleaning the office and we really kicked ass. My wrapping station looks awesome and it is so organized i almost can't wait to start wrapping again...ok ...maybe not that excited. I need a little bit of a break right now cause now i have to learn a whole new system at work and it's so frustrating to know that i have been there for 11 years and they are changing everything up. I'm just tired hon..im tired of working my ass off and not going anywhere and i know i will never go any further than where i am no matter how hard i work or how dedicated i am at this job. I just feel like all i do is work and when i'm off i am trying to keep this house going. I honestly don't get much down time to even enjoy the kids or do anything i really want to do and i am just getting tired. Being alone is taking its toll on me for sure. But i never got the chance to write to you and let you know how everything went. We had a great tricky tray with a good turnout. We didn't make quite as much money but we still did great. And the golf outing was such a crazy day with snow, rain and finally sunshine. We have an amazing group of people who golf with us and they are there for Caleb regardless of the weather. It was a great day and we raised a little more money that day but all in all it was a successful two days for our little man. I miss you so much hon, i just can't seem to get out of this deep dark hole i feel like i have fallen into no matter how hard i try. Things go along for awhile and then i feel like I'm sinking again from missing you so much. I would give anything to feel your arms around me right now....i'm so tired of feeling so alone every single day but i don't know how to change it. If only i could turn off my sadness ..... On one good note Jess will be adopting Harper and i couldn't be happier for her. You would have adored this little one and i am so sad that all these babies didn't get to have you in their life. God we would have enjoyed spending time with all of them so much. I think back to how much fun we had with Caleb, i can only imagine the fun we would have had with the rest of them. I hate that i just don't get the chance to spend time with them like i want to because of how much i have to work so i when i do i try to make the most of that time but it's never enough for me. I just wish so much you were here with me to enjoy those moments together. Oh hon how did things get like this??? I still have to make myself believe that you are really gone sometimes cause it still doesn't feel real at times. I don't think this will ever change... This lonliness wlll never go away i'm sure of that. Well babe i have to go get ready for bed...i have another long day tomorrow and I am pretty tired tonight. I hope you and Caleb received all the balloons we sent up after the tricky tray...it was the first time that none of them got stuck in the trees and all made it through so yeah for us....i hope you were able to read all the messages we wrote on all of them..... Baby i miss you so much and i will always keep you as number 1 in my heart forever...i wish you could just let me know you are still here with me somehow..... Te amo babe.... yasmmfpitwww.......xoxoxoxo to the moon and back...ur Robbie

I

I love you.....Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Hey babe, Oh i wish so much you were here right now...i would give anything to feel your arms around me ....you know how difficult this time of year is and this year is no different. I just can't seem to get things right and i'm really having a hard time these days. Missing you this much only makes things more difficult cause i don't have you to keep me steady and reassure me that everything will be okay. I just can't seem to get things right and i'm often reminded that i should just be more like you. That hurts a lot cause you and i know you were not perfect and you made mistakes too but you seemed to do the right things much more than i can...i'm sorry i know i am just babbling..im tired and things with Nik and i are tense right now and i just keep having so much pressure in my chest that i have started taking my meds again. I feel like i am digressing more into that black hole i managed to climb out of when i lost you. I did talk to a therapist and i will go back again but i am not sure if she is the person that can help me learn to let go and move on. I don't know how to do that and i don't know if i can truly ever let go of you especially in my heart. Everyday i miss you even more than the day before .....i don't know how to change that... We are almost ready for the fundraiser this weekend, please help us get the people to come to make it successful and help us have some good weather this year. We have worked really hard to make this happen so please please help us make it be what we want it to be. I love you babe and i wish i knew for sure you were here with me....i keep looking and hoping for a really good sign.. missing you every minute.....xoxo Robbie

l

love from your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, March 31, 2018

Hey babe, here we are trying to celebrate another holiday without you and i'm feeling kind of down right now. Not sure if its the holiday or the time of year and thinking about Caleb and not having you hear to talk to or cry with and being so busy with the fundraisers but i am really missing you so much right now. I just want to stop feeling this awful pain in my heart every single day from missing you and feeling so lonely. It is so hard to share my feelings with anyone so i usually just deal with them on my own but that gets really lonely sometimes and makes me miss you even more. And there are other things going on too which i hope you know what i am talking about and can help me know what to do about them. I just want to hear your voice so badly right now to make me feel that security i always felt when i talked to you. God i just miss you so much....... We are so busy trying to put baskets together and working long days to make this all happen so it gets a little tough at times and i wish you were here to help us or just to lend your never ending support. I hope you can help me know what i should do about certain things babe...sure could use a good sign from you this weekend.... I hope you and sweet caleb can have a great day tomorrow and know that you are in my heart every minute of every day......sending hugs and big kisses to both of you... yammfpitwww.....xoxoxo your Robbie for always

l

lovin you forever posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Hey babe, Just a quick note cause i am exhausted and need to sleep but want you to know how much i have been thinking of you lately and how very much i miss you. I guess its that time of year where we did so much together to help make Caleb's fundraisers successful that i just feel so alone trying to do so much of it alone this year. I just miss how we use to go out together to solicit and then to pick everything up and each time i wrap a basket all i think of is how you use to sit there and rip the tape for me for hours. You never complained you just sat and ripped and sat and ripped making it easier for me....just like you did with everything in my life. I miss you so much and i still have not stopped crying yet. I honestly think my heart will never be whole again. There was just so much more living we were suppose to do together and its so hard to know that we will never have the opportunity again to do any of the things we always talked about doing when we got older. Now anything i do i pretty much do by myself and it pretty much sucks. I'm sorry ...i just really miss you and i feel very lonely these days. I hope you are watching over our kids these days. Nik is not feeling well, Jess is worried about the adoption and Crys is headed in a direction i just hope is the right one for her which will bring her to happiness, Herb is so stressed out with work and worrying about his house, Eric works too much and Ryan is also burning the candle at both ends. We did such a great job with our kids...but it doesn't stop me from worrying about them still everyday. I just wish you were still here for me to be able to lean on you when i need your strength...that is the toughest part for me... I need to go to sleep hon...i'm exhausted and i have to work again tomorrow but know i will be thinking of you as always.... I miss you and love you to the moon and back again..... xoxo

R

Robbie Loves you posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Hey Babe, Can't believe its this month already. This is always a tough week leading up to that horrible day when out lives were torn apart. How is it possible that 11 years have gone by since we lost our precious little man and it has just gotten tougher without you here to share the memories of that day with. Will it ever get easier hon? Will the pain ever not be present in my life? God i miss you so much and even moreso right now. I wish so much i could just feel your arms around me so i could lay my head on your shoulder and feel one of your awesome big bear hugs that always made me feel so safe and so loved. I feel like i haven't had a sign from you in such a long time and i could surely use one right now. This is such a tough weekend and no matter how hard i try to not think...those memories come creeping in and the sadness just starts all over again. We are getting together on sunday at niks house so i guess that will help some. It is just so hard to believe its been 11 years....seems like a lifetime ago yet still seems like just yesterday that we were babysitting our little man together ...loving every minute we had with him. God what i would give to have those days back again. Please be with us this weekend hon and know how much i am missing you right now.... Please watch over the girls and i when we fly to texas next week. I am trying so hard not to be nervous so please help me with this. I love you babe and i miss you so much....xoxoxoxoxo

Y

Your Robbie loves you posted a symbolic gesture

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Hey Baby....Just wanted to say happy valentines day to the love of my life...This day is just so sucky anymore...watching all the people holding hands, talking quietly to one another and knowing they will all be going home to a night of love and seduction. It's tough especially knowing i get to come home alone again to a house filled with quiet, darkness and sadness and still so much pain .....i just don't know how to make it go away hon cause my still heart hurts so much from missing you. I just don't want to forget the way you kissed or the gentleness of your touch or your smell or your awesome hugs or just the way you made me always feel secure and safe. I haven't felt that way since you left and i don't know if i will ever feel that way again. Life has just changed so much and i honestly don't know if i will ever be able to accept these changes and all that comes with them. Tonight i sit here and i think about what i would have done for you tonight to make it special for u and for us....but it's hard to think about those times right now cause it just makes me miss you even more knowing i can't come home and make something special happen...I wish i knew if you were thinking about me tonight...even though i know you never really cared about the whole romantic side of things....unless i took the initiative..lol But i do remember the one time you did take control and it was a night i will never forget...coming home from working 2 jobs and finding choc heart candies leading to the bathroom and a bathtub full of bubbles and a bottle of asti with my book ready to be read and my teddy hanging on the hook and you in bed in your red heart boxers....i will never ever forget what an awesome night we had that night and if i didn't thank you properly....thank you babe for one of the best and most unforgettable nights ever. I'm gonna try and keep those beautiful memories in my thoughts and my heart tomorrow especially ....to help me get through the day. I hope you and Caleb have a great day together but know i will be thinking about you all day and wishing you were both here...i miss you babe and as always I'm loving you to the moon and back again....Happy Valentines Day my Love...

Y

Your Robbie loves you posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Hey babe, Well the holidays are officially over and I have been trying to get things put away although the tree is frozen in the stand in the sunroom so I can't do anything just yet but it is all undecorated...just still sitting in the corner. I thought about taking the stuff down on the front porch but figured I would wait till its a little warmer and maybe I will leave the tree out there and decorate it for each holiday. We are getting ready for superbowl weekend at woodloch. Doesn't really excite me without you here ...the only thing I look forward to is being with the kids and all the little ones but I miss walking with you and dancing at the nightclub and I really miss sitting in front of you with your arms around me ...me resting on your shoulder. Just can't let go of these thoughts. Sucks too cause none of our friends are going so its kind of weird at mealtimes having to sit without you. The eagles are in the superbowl so this is gonna be a brutal weekend especially cause we have to root for the patriots but man we sure don't want the eagles to win. We are hoping for a much better season for the giants next year for sure. I have to be in work early tomorrow so I can go to the show with smitty ..heck free woodloch dinner ...why not. I got out and put flyers up the last two days so most of mine are out and I even got a few donations already so that makes me happy. I can't believe its time again already to start working on this..it just got here so fast but it's something I won't ever stop...just wish you were here to do it with me. I hope you watch over baby Hailey when they take her home this weekend. Please keep her safe..i know Jess is worried about her and so am I. She is the sweetest little thing and Jess has taken such good care of her and it breaks my heart to see her go back home. I just hope they take care of her. Well I need to get some sleep since I have to work early tomorrow so I am gonna go for now. Think of you pretty much every minute of every day...always with love in my heart. Missing you more today than yesterday... Loving you always to the moon and back...xoxox Robbie

x

xoxo Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Hi Babe....I hate that I am wishing you happy birthday like this cause I would give anything to be wishing you happy birthday with you sitting beside me on the couch or cuddling in the late morning not wanting to get out of bed. Another sad day to get through without you here next to me. God I just want this never ending pain to just stop hurting so bad. I miss you so much hon...I miss talking to you and sharing our every day happenings. I miss having you here to listen when things go wrong at work and I miss your hugs when I've had a really tough day. I just miss every single thing about you ....even the dumb things that I use to get annoyed with ...cause now I realize they were just that ...so dumb. If only ....if only ....God would give me another chance to prove how much I love you ...I would do things so differently...not everything but the important everyday things to just show you how much I truly love you. I will celebrate you today babe just as all of us will and we will all miss you more than you will ever know. I hope you and our little man celebrate together knowing we are all celebrating here....Happy Birthday Baby....Loving you to the moon and back again...for always.....yymmfpitwww.....

M

Merry Christmas....Love Gia posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Hey babe, Well here we are, another year gone and my heart doesn't feel any lighter than it did 5 years ago although I did make it through most of the holiday without falling completely apart. Everthing was great....The house was filled with family all weekend and it helped to lighten the load cause I haven't had much time to really think but I am sure after tomorrow when everyone leaves it will then hit me. You would have been very proud of the kids this year with all the help they gave me and the awesome gifts they gave me. Ryan was instrumental in getting the bathroom done this week. But we did it ...we finally had a bathroom in the basement for our party this year and you would be so proud of the work we did. Well babe I have to get some sleep, the last 3 weeks I haven't gotten very much and it's back to work in two days. I hope you and Caleb had a wonderful Christmas together and I hope you both know how very much you were both missed... Till next time ....I will be loving you to the moon and back again...... xoxo Robbie

L

Loving u till forever posted a symbolic gesture

Friday, November 24, 2017

Hey babe, I just don't know if I can even find the words to tell you how much my heart hurts tonight. It was 5 years ago at this very moment that I held you in my arms for the last time and reliving those final moments with you are heartbreaking all over again. This has been a tough week for sure but I found If I kept myself busy and didn't think I could get through the day but as soon as I allowed myself to go to any thoughts of you being gone ....the tears and the unending pain would start once again.....sometimes it seems like it will never end. I just wish I could find a way to stop missing you so much but every day there is some other memory that flashes before my eyes and i'm right back to where I was 5 years ago. I honestly can't believe it is 5 years today....how have I possibly survived these almost 2000 days without you??? I honestly don't know but I keep getting up and moving through 1 day at a time. I miss you more every day love and while everyone today was giving thanks for all they have I could only think of all the blessings and gifts God gave us in this beautiful family we created together. I hope you and our little man celebrated thanksgiving together and I hope you can feel the love that lives in my heart today and everyday till we are together in eternity. I love you to the moon and back again.. and I miss you from the bottom of my very broken heart....TeAmo and YAMMFPITWWW.......

Your Robbie loves you.... posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Hey Babe....Another month gets us closer to your 5 year anniversary...I don't know how that is at all possible because it seems like just yesterday that you left me alone.... And some days it feels like you were never here. I wish I could say I have stopped missing you but unfortunately I seem to miss you more every day and some days are still so difficult to get through. I am trying to make changes like you wanted me to but it sometimes makes the day a little more difficult to get through. I am trying really hard to keep up on things around here but there are just so many things to do bfore winter and I am struggling to get everything done. It's tough to ask the kids cause I know they are so busy with all their own stuff but I know some of this I just can't do by myself. I have done some painting trying to fix up some of the rooms since we haven't done anything in 10 years but I still have a lot to finish. Just trying to do a little at a time. I am trying to start some xmas shopping hoping not to get overwhelmed like every other year. I really just want to enjoy the holidays for a change but I always try and then at the last minute things always start to get crazy and enjoying them gets harder so hopefully this year I can get a handle on things so I don't get totally overwhelmed. I hope you got the balloons I sent up to you and caleb on his birthday. That day is still just as hard when I stop to let myself think at all. It is just so hard to believe that he is actually a teenager now. How is that possible???? I hope you and him had a very special day together and that you know we were all thinking about you. Hon I am trying to figure out if you were here the other night...I swear I felt something brush my lips while I was sleeping...it woke me up so I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if it was real....It sure felt real and I am trying to believe that it was you. I wish you would come more often and let me know that you are here. I know you are still watching over me...I just want to feel you a little more. I did see a couple big bucks over the last few weeks and I always feel like its you that I am looking at.. I have gotten just like you where I am following the dear into the woods with my car lights...just like you use to do. There are so many things I do that you use to do.....Makes me feel closer to you..... Well I have to go wrap Emmy's birthday present so I can get it in the mail tomorrow for her birthday. Maybe you can give her a sign tomorrow that you are still watching over her too.... Please continue to watch over Nik with all that she has been through in the past two weeks...I am still hoping for that miracle that you told Julia was gonna happen....Now more than ever we need it... I miss you babe and I love you more every day.....to the moon and back for always... xoxoxoxo your Robbie

L

Loving you always posted a condolence

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Hey babe, I didn't get the chance to write on our anniversary...it was a little overwhelming so I just kept myself busy all day. The kids were great and made it as special as they could. I had my nails and feet done, I went to lunch with Nik and the kids, I had a reading with Julia and had dinner with Ryan. Talked to the kids and got messages from Julia. Thank you for acknowledging our anniversary..that meant a lot and I am so happy you heard me say happy anniversary hon...before I even got out of bed this morning. So many things she told me but then you know what they are already. I am trying to be open to your idea of moving forward . but its really not something I want to do...unless you can come back to me...then i'm all for it. But I am making some changes in the house...at least I am trying to start with some new paint colors and then I will go from there. There is a leak in the basement so tonight has been a bit of a tough night. Jess came out to help me try and clean up and Eric is coming tomorrow. I am nervous about the wall but I am sure it will all have to be replaced. I am just tired of so many things going wrong...I am trying so hard to keep every thing working and I feel like I just keep getting knocked back down again. If you could just help make things a little bit easier so I can take care of them myself and not have to bother the kids all the time. Please watch over all the kids especially crystal tonight....I want to keep talking but I am so exhausted right now so I think I need to go to bed shortly. I'll be back soon and know how much I missed our special day together..... Loving you to the moon and back forever, your Robbie

X

XOXO....Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Friday, August 25, 2017

Hi love, Another month has passed and i'm really missing you. I'm not feeling so hot tonight which makes me only miss you more. What I would give to have you here to put your arms around me and stroke my head like you use to do when I was sick. Its so hard to be alone when i'm feeling like this. Last night was a tough one for me...not sure why....I just know it hit me when I was getting ready to get into bed. sometimes it can be the simplest of things to set me off and its sometimes hard to get it together again. I just find myself thinking of you all day and sometimes remembering the really good things but also reliving guilt and regrets which is just so hard not to do. I miss doing so many things together but most of all I just miss having you next to me.... Not a lot to talk about...i'm just not really with it tonight. I think I am just exhausted and worn out but just hope i'm not getting sick. I just can't afford to take time off right now so please help me feel better in the morning so I can get through the next few days. Crystal is coming home and I am looking forward to spending some time with her and I also have sewing to do for Jess so I need to be on my game somehow. You made crystal so happy with the dbl penny sign she found. She is kind of nervous resigning and starting this new position so please stay with her and help her keep the faith that she is doing the right thing. It's gonna be tough for her but I know she is looking forward to doing something different and working with these families and these sick kids. I wish you could see all these beautiful grandbabies we have been blessed with...you would love them all so much and they would be crazy about you. It's these things that really make me miss having you here....I love you babe and I miss you every minute of every day....xoxoxoxo To the moon and back again forever.......

Y

Your Robbie forever posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Hey babe, well I tried to write to you last night but something happened with the computer and it erased everything I wrote so I figured I would try again. There isn't much too say other than crap at work again but I get tired of talking about that. I wish so much there was a way I could work from home and make enough money to survive but I don't think that will ever happen. I could just be so content being at home and working around the house and sewing and doing projects here and visiting with the kids but I have a hard enough time paying bills as it is so unless some miracle happens I guess this will be my life for however long I am here. Been working on some sewing projects for the kids ..hope you like what I am doing in your memory for each of them. Trying so hard to get them all done so I can start on some house projects if I can scrape together enough money to do some things around here. So many things you and I wanted to do together and doing them all alone now is so different....just makes me miss you even more but its stuff that I have to get done so I will do the best I can. I wish you could help me figure something out with this mortgage cause I just don't know what to do and I have to do something. These are the things that truly overwhelm me....trying to fix things and do all the things that we had planned to do together.... even just the yard work....gosh I miss having you there with me even when I do simple things like that. I miss you more every single day babe...I only hope you know that.. Loving you till forever......your Robbie

R

Robbie loves you posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Hey Babe, Well Ive been thinking that it feels like so long ago that I wrote you a letter and then I come on today and realize it has been...I don't know what happened cause I could have sworn I wrote one last month but I must have messed something up when I sent it or did I really write one???? I know I was waiting till after the fundraisers to write so I am so confused as to what happened so I guess I have a lot to catch you up on. Well the fundraisers went great...thanks for your help with the weather and the people coming out and for being with us that day as I am sure you and our sweet boy were. We raised over $60,000 this year which is just awesome to be able to put to good use in all the families we can help. Kathy and Pete came from Texas this year to see what it was like and were such a good help for both days. It's hard to believe our little guy has been gone for 10 years...and you for almost 5....how is that possible....I wish I could say things have gotten easier along the way but I think I just get more numb as time goes by. I miss you more every day and realize how many things I should have done differently. Life is so short and I just wish we could have taken more time for each other instead of working so much just to get by. I would give anything for a little more time together..... There is a lot going on right now with the kids...Nik and Dan are moving slowly into the house...still have a lot of work to do but they are getting there. Kids are doing great...Herb is still trying to get Shodogg going...my heart hurts for all he has had to go through with this company but he is not giving up...Jess is loving being a mom to Harper...I just worry about both of them if she goes back home...Crys is off to Croatia on a yoga retreat...she certainly is our little world traveler and I admire her spirit but worry about her when she is off all alone..Benny works so much and is so much like you but I wish he could have a little more relaxation time...Him and Ry have been working on the bathroom in the basement...it is finally up and running and we will hopefully get it finished this summer .....and Ry guy is doing so much with his new business right now. I hope you can see how far he has come and how hard he is working to make this business a success. I see so much of you in all our kids in so many different ways...just wish so much you were here to see it too. I wish you could have met all these beautiful grandbabies who when I look at them all I think of is how much I wish you were here to share all these moments with me. We just thought we had time....but we didn't. But I hope you are watching over all of us and I hope you realize how much you are missed...every single day. Things are so different now and I am really trying to move forward but seem to be caught in the past too often. I miss you babe and I love you to the moon and back forever... I promise I will be back next month....xoxo I hope you got our balloons from the fundraiser.....

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Hey Babe, It's that time again to let you know i'm thinking of you like always but this day just reminds me that another month has passed without you here. It just seems sometimes like it was yesterday and other times it seems like you have been gone forever or that maybe you were never even here. I miss you more I think with every day that passes especially when I just want to feel your arms around me or I want to share something with you. Going to the drs alone is really tough for me and then not having you to share the outcome with just sucks. This week was tough finding out the things I did about my eyes and just wanting to hear you say it will all be okay hon...it was just tough. But on to other things...we are really busy working on Calebs fundraiser now and with the weather being so bad we are kind of behind on getting things done. It's coming up so fast this year but I know we will be ready one way or the other. We went to a fundraiser the other night that jolyn organized and she did a great job with it. She raised almost $2000 which is awesome for her first one. So that is about most of the news here. I'm getting ready for bed cause I am really tired and tomorrow will be busy ....know I'm thinking of you babe and missing every minute of you not being here.....loving you forever to the moon and back....Robbie

R

Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Hey babe....It is so hard to believe that 10 years ago we were sleeping in a hospital anywhere we could find a spot to lay our heads hopeful, praying, crying and begging God to not take our Caleb from us. We prayed in that chapel holding hands never giving up hope cause we just didn't believe we would lose that little boy we loved so much. Yet we watched as our baby girls heart broke into a million pieces and all of our lives were shattered as Caleb received his angel wings the next day. The memory of that last week will forever be etched in my heart as one of pain sadness and the biggest loss we had ever suffered together. But at least we were together...sharing our loss the best we could with one another. But now here I am sitting here ...feeling so empty and alone reliving all the painful memories of that week but the worst part is .....that you're not here to share this hurt with me. I want to feel your arms around me just holding me cause that's the only time I ever felt safe but now you're gone too. God I am having such a hard time without out you here. I don't know how I have gotten here this far without you, I really don't. My heart hurts every single day from missing both of you. Sometimes I think the emptiness and pain is gonna overtake me but somehow I manage to pull it back together and move forward another few steps. But the pain never stops and the loss in my heart will never go away. I hope you and Caleb are together today but I also hope you can see how sad we all are even though we are trying to celebrate Caleb's short little life today. Maybe you can send us some extra special signs today when we are together. I would be so happy just feeling the warmth and security of one of your awesome hugs....I miss you so much love....I hope you can feel it.....xoxoxo

U

Ur Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Hey babe.. I've been tryin to get online all day but the internet is down so I'm tryin to do this on my phone. Just wanted you to know I'm thinkin of you even more so today. Been baking for Woodloch even tho Im not really excited to go anymore other than to see the kids . Without you it's just not the same ... So many memories of things we've done there. Kreitlers and Farrell's are goin this year which is good but hoping it won't be even harder not having u there. So many times I want to ask you something and so many times I reach for you and then realize ur not there. I don't know if this will ever make sense to me. I miss u every single minute of the day babe and my life will never be the same again no matter how hard I try . I just can't find me without you here... It was suppose to always be you and me babe that's what u told me.. You and me for always .... So I'm struggling to find the me without the you... Just so many things we didn't get to do....I cherish each sign you give me hon.. Look for them everyday!! Well I have to go I'm hoping this goes through ... I miss you so much but I'll love you to the moon and back forever baby

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, January 7, 2017

I'm sitting here alone and just can't stop thinking about you tonight. The tears just keep coming and I just can't seem to stop them. It's so hard being alone at a time like this when all I wish for is to have your arms around me in one of your big hugs. I miss you so much my heart just aches. I just don't know how to stop this horrific pain or how to find any peace in my life without you here. I know with tomorrow being your birthday i'm feeling even more alone and empty inside but I honestly just don't know how to make these awful feelings go away. I wish I could just feel you close to me right now but I feel like you are a million miles away and I just need so much to feel you right now. Just want this pain to stop hon....I love you so much babe......Happy birthday my Herb...i'll be thinking about you even more today.....

L

Loving u till forever.....Ur Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Hey babe, I honestly can't believe another month as passed and I really can't believe this is my 5th Christmas without you. It truly doesn't seem possible that so much time has passed ..it seems like only yesterday you were helping me bake and being my taste tester (which I really miss your help) and you running out to the store to get me last minute things I needed and us doing the breads and the bacon things together. It is so much harder doing it myself and so much harder to enjoy doing the things I have to do now. I can't rely on the kids to really help much cause they have all their own stuff going on...you and I came to rely on each other and now with you gone... I have to rely on myself. I have to tell you it gets pretty lonely doing things by yourself so much of the time. I just hope you know how much I did appreciate all the little things you did for me even though I may not have always told you so...I hope in you heart you know what that meant to me. I am having a real tough time tonight...I guess watching the shows I watched tonight wasn't such a great idea because I havent' been quite able to stop crying since I watched them. They just made my heart hurt so much more. But the gifts are under the tree and the pans are out for our cinnamon buns and the glasses for our mimosas so we will see who gets up first tomorrow. I hope it feels more like Christmas tomorrow cause right now it doesn't feel like it at all..... I hope you and Caleb are having a great day today...i'm sure you are with my mom and dad, mary, mj and Charlie, Ma and now uncle buck...i'm so sad I didn't get over to see him..i really was gonna go this week but waited a day too long so please tell him I love him and i'm so sorry I didn't get there in time. Well babe i'm getting really tired so I'm gonna go for now. Merry Christmas my love.. I hope you're missing me as much as I'm missing you.....loving u till forever....ur Robbie

R

Robin Mitschele lit a candle

Monday, October 24, 2016

Hey Babe.....Well I probably shouldn't write this tonight the way my day has gone but i'm going to anyway. I'm really hurting right now so I don't know how much I can do here but I am going to try anyway. I had Harper all night and she was awesome... so today we worked outside all day long cleaning up the leaves and now I am paying for it with horrific sore arms, wrists and legs. I pushed to get them done but I should have come in a lot sooner than I did cause now I am really suffering. The pain in my arms is really getting worse especially after doing stuff like blowing leaves and using my wrists and arms like I did today. I did a lot of crying tonight especially when I accidentally knocked your candle off the table when I was cleaning up the mess from the heating pad and it broke. It just summed up my whole day of pain. I feel like I am starting to digress lately and I seem to be crying every night again. I'm not sure why some days I can get through the day okay and some days are just horrific. Lately they have all been pretty bad and I have cried more than I have in a long time. I keep remembering that next month it will be four years since you held me in your arms and I miss you more than ever. I just don't know how to stop missing you and it seems to be getting harder and harder without you here. My heart still hurts so very much. We have Calebs bowling this weekend and it will be just one more thing without you. I just don't know when this will ever be easier.....I miss you baby so much every day.... Love u to the moon and back again.....xoxoxo

L

Loving you Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Hey Love, I wanted to do this yesterday but my computer is down and I couldn't get the time to get in here so figured I would wait till after the giants game was over. What a game...so disappointing and they so should have won. You would be proud of me cause I try and watch the whole game and even know what is going on now. I wish I would have been more involved with you but I think I just always felt like the game was more important than me and I think I was really jealous of all the time you spent on football in general. Yeah dumb I know but it is how I felt. Now I wish so much you were here for me to share these moments with. But there are a lot of things I wish I could have done differently. Although some of these games are truly making my heart pound..i don't know how you guys do this every game...its tough. I didn't get on here for our anniversary cause I just tried to keep busy that day just so it wouldn't be so hard...Nik and the kids took me out for breakfast and I met Ryan for a drink and then Mo and I went out for dinner and it was a nice day and they kept me busy for most of the time. Night time was a different story of course but managed to survive another day without you. My hands and arms have been in such pain lately ...not sure if its arthritis or tendonitis but it hurts so much right now to type I may have to cut this one short. I have so many things I want to do but this is making it difficult to want to try and accomplish anything. I sewed the bean bags for ryan today and that was really tough. Everything is going numb right now from typing and I don't know what to do for it. Don't really have the money to go to a doctor so just going to try and struggle through the pain. It's just getting tougher everyday. Kind of like missing you gets tougher everyday. Still not getting easier like everyone says it will. I just hope you know how much I miss you babe. Thanks for all the little signs you give me..i try not to miss any of them and I love every little thing I see so please don't stop sending them. I'm gonna close for now cause I want to write a quick note to my little man and my hands aren't going to work for much longer. I love you more than I did yesterday and will love you to the moon and back forever!!!

R

Robbie loves you posted a symbolic gesture

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Hey babe, Wow I actually got to do this on time for a change. Getting ready to go to work but wanted to take a minute to let you know I was thinking about you as always. Got a lot of stuff accomplished here the last two days, just wish so much you were here to notice it. I think that is the hardest part of doing something and not having anyone to even notice it...especially you cause you were the best at that. You noticed every little thing I ever did and I hope you knew how much that meant to me. So many husbands don't notice a thing but you always did. I think that is why I don't enjoy doing some things now cause I have no one to impress with my hard work...but I finally changed some things around and put up some new pictures and finally finally did the floors. Boy was I hurtin at the end of that day. It makes me truly appreciate all the times you did them for me cause it is not an easy job. I hope you know how much I appreciated so many things in you ...sometimes i'm not sure if I really let you know those things and It makes my heart hurt even more. You truly were the best....and I miss you so much every single day. I know my heart will never stop hurting but I am trying to move forward a little each day but it's not easy and thoughts of you are never out of my mind. I can't believe our anniversary is coming up again in a few weeks...its always a tough day and I hate spending it alone, but I never know what else to do. Last year Herb took me out to dinner cause I was down at their house and that was really nice...that's when I found out Colette was on her way....lol.... Not sure what I will do this year but I know I will be missing you more than ever. I love you forever to the moon and back my sweet man....and missing you more every single day....xoxoxoxoxo Te Amo .....Your Robbie

L

Loving you, Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Monday, July 25, 2016

Hey babe....well as usual I didn't get on here yesterday cause I was painting the dining room and cleaning and changing furniture around so by the time I sat down I was so exhausted I couldn't keep my eyes open. I listened to music all day and so many songs have such memories for me with you that it is so hard to listen to them sometimes and all I can do is cry. I just miss you so much and the days just seem to be getting harder without you here especially when I do something like redoing the whole dining room and just wanting so badly to hear you say something cause you always noticed everything...oh babe if only I could have a do over.....one more day with you would make my heart happy even just for a moment... I love you so much and miss you more every single day....

R

Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Monday, June 27, 2016

Hey babe, I'm so sorry i didn't get the chance to write to you the other day. Work has just been so busy and by the time i get home i am so tired i can't even think of what i want to say so even though i didn't write doesn't mean i didn't think about you all day long. There isn't much to say right now. I have a sweet girl named Emma staying with me for the summer....she works at woodloch and i know you would just love her. She comes from a really nice family and the kids encouraged me to let her stay here for the next two months so ..so far it has worked out really well and she has been good company. The girls from the front desk are coming over tomorrow night so i'm hoping it will be a good time and i can stay awake to enjoy it. It has been a really long week and i'm trying to get this gift done that i am making so its been a few late nights trying to finish. Anyway i'm hoping it will be a good time for all. You would be so impressed with all the work Ryan is doing and everything he is creating and building these days. He really is something with all the ideas he comes up with..i know you would be as proud as i am of him. I just wish he would slow down a little bit and take better care of himself but he is definitely your son cause he is just like you. Herb is having a tough time with pneumonia, broken rib and almost collapsed lung so he also needs to take better care of himself. I wish you could help him with shodogg cause i don't know how much longer he can hold out for it to happen. I worry about him with all the time and effort and energy he has put into it....Crystal needs some looking after right now also with all the health things she is going through herself. I'm hoping this other dr will be able to put things into perspective for her. Jess just got a 1 yr old foster child named Harper. She is adorable and you would love her. I had our Harper today and she was great...had fun with her....so wish you got to meet her. Benny is as always working like crazy...he really is such a good guy and everyone still loves him just as they have since he was little. Nik and Dan are building their house now and it should be wonderful for them after living in the garage for 4 years almost. I can't wait to go over and see it soon, Well i think i caught you up with all thats happening here. So many things to do around the house and the yard but i am really having a hard time keeping up this year but im doing the best i can. Hope i make you proud.... missing you every day and loving you to the moon and back for always....ur Robbie

R

Robbie loves and misses you posted a symbolic gesture

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Hey babe, Just wanted to say Happy Father's Day to the best Dad ever and my number 1 man. You should be here to help us celebrate this very special day but I hope you know how very much you have been thought about today and how much you are missed. My heart really hurts tonight from missing you so much. I don't think anyone really understands how empty I feel without you. I hope you and Caleb are having a great time today....miss you love

R

Robbie Loves You posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

I sent you the balloons I never got to send you at the fundraiser....hope you get these cause they are filled with love and lots of hugs from me.....xoxoxoxoxxo yammfpitwww....te amo......

R

Robbie Loves You posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Hey babe, I have been thinking about you since I woke up this morning and since it is the 24th that is about the way I always spend this day, although I think about you everyday but today was just different somehow. I was going through photo discs and came across so many from mk and Mikes wedding, of you and I that someone took and I have never seen them before. I have to say they took me by surprise and then today when I was cleaning and the lowes commercial came on and they were singing we've only just begun and sang the whole song.....I just realized ...it was a message from you to me....thank you babe ....you don't know how much that means to me....and for them to play the whole thing was so incredible. I thought it was pretty cool when I heard it but sitting her writing to you...I then realized that it was definitely a sign from you and that means more than I can say. And it was a pretty cool commercial too, one that I know was a happy one with the smiley faces on the house...I guess you were trying to tell me to try and be happy even with all the ups and downs I have. I am truly trying hon and signs like that...well I gotta tell you they help me know you are still here with me. So thank you.... I wanted to get on here before to tell you how awesome the fundraiser was again this year but its been a little crazy with our new granddaughter Colette Rue being born on that weekend and the tricky tray and golf....just been a little tough. But we raised alot of money again...$60,000 between the two days and our monetary donations. What a great following we have and what an awesome turnout it was as always. But you are sorely missed from that day hon ..more every year. We sent you and Caleb balloons but there weren't many left cause people took them, but we sent what we had and of course mine got stuck in a tree so not sure if you ever got it but I hope so. It was tough not being there when Colette was born but I at least got to see on facetime although not quite the same. And it's always tough that you aren't here with me during all these special moments..i know you are but it's just not the same. She is a beautiful baby but then i'm sure you know that don't you. I just wish we could be together to share her along with all the rest of these beauties we have. And how incredible that it has been a year since you sent us Dakota and Aubrey... amazing right!!!! What a sweet family they make ....and they are all so happy so thank you to the three of you up there...completing the family they wanted so badly. And now they all are getting baptized this weekend..all at the same time. You and I wanted this so badly and they all agreed to do it together. I'm sad that Crystal and possibly Ryan aren't gonna be able to be there with us but I hope we can somehow facetime them so they can be a part of it too. Please be there with us somehow on sunday babe...please let us know that somehow someway you will be sitting right there in that church with us being a part of this very special beautiful celebration. Well I want to go and look at some pictures and see if maybe there are more of us that I didn't realize. I miss you so much my love ...more with every day that goes by. Always remember that you are my one and only and I will love you every day for the rest of my life to the moon and back.....FOREVER..YOUR...ROBBIE

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Hey babe, Well I have been trying to write ....last month and the other night and my computer has been screwed up and erased what I wrote so here I am one more time but this will be a short one since I will be back next week to let you know how the fundraiser goes. We have done all the work so far but now we need you and Caleb and everyone else to help us out with the rest to make this a success. We need people and really need some good weather for the two days...please hon be with us for this. We have put so much time and effort into this so please help us make it all worth it. Just send us lots of people and give us weather that will make people want to come out and support us. I will be back next week to let you know how it all went. Dont' for get to look for our balloons on sunday...we will be sending them up to you and Caleb.... Love u babe to the moon and back for always, Robbie

Y

Your Robbie with Love forever posted a symbolic gesture

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Hey baby, Another month has passed and we are coming up tomorrow on the 9th anniversary of losing our sweet Caleb. So hard to believe that you aren't here to help me get through this day...all I want is to feel your arms around me and just holding me tight and letting me cry on your shoulder. The pain is still there if I allow myself to think about it even though I try not to....sometimes it is just staring me down. When I think back to that time in the hospital and even when we were at home with him and how we just thought it was something they could fix....never in my wildest worst thoughts did I ever think we would leave that hospital without our little man. It still is so hard to believe that he is really gone and even harder to believe that you are with him. I don't know if I will ever truly believe it cause there are still times I think you will be walking through the door, bending down to kiss me and then sitting on the couch chatting about the day and all the crap we had to endure at work. I would give anything to turn back time and have a do over....I miss you so much hon I hope you know that. Every minute i'm thinking of you and things we did or things we never got to do. This was suppose to be our time ya know. ... our time to do all we wanted to do and now doing stuff alone is just not the same excitement for me. Just doesn't mean the same and I've lost interest in a lot of things. I just miss you too much. I hope you and Caleb are spending all the time together and watching over us here. I hope you can both see the two little angels you sent to us to help fill the void that we all feel in our hearts and especially for Nik and Dan...it is so good to see her happy and fulfilled again with these two little ones. Thank you ...cause I know you had a hand in getting them to us. Well I have to go to work so i'm signing off. I miss you baby and I will love you forever to the moon and back.....Your one and only Robbie

L

Love from your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Happy Valentines Day Babe....I know its a couple days after the big day but I tried to just keep myself busy during the last couple days just so I wouldn't have to think about what the actual day was. It was tough being at work with all the valentine couples and all the special things that were going on but I managed to do it and then having the kids here the last two days has definitely helped me not to have time to think about how much I miss you. But now that everyone is back home and I am alone....it is starting to hit me how lonely I am and how tough this holiday is when you are without the one you truly love. All the shows and commercials are all about the ones you love so it magnifies the way things are for me. I am missing you so much right now more than ever. I am nervous about the girls flying to Australia and I don't have you to share those fears with so I have to suck it up and feel it alone which is really tough for me. Oh hon some days are just so hard without you here. The kids really helped being here and keeping me busy but now its just me and all those empty lonely feelings are back again. Sometimes I am just so tired and so alone and I miss you so much. What I would give to hear your voice one more time or hear your laughter or feel your touch. I just don't know how to move forward anymore. So many things I want to do around the house but time and money are always a factor as to why they can't get done. I know I'm rambling...i'm sorry...I am just lost tonight and being alone is not helping at all. I just hope you know how very much I miss you every minute of every day....my life will never be the same without you.....ever.....loving you to the moon and back for always....xoxoxoxo Robbie

F

Forever.....your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Hi Babe, I don't know where the days go anymore but I just feel like life is passing me by without me being able to grab on and enjoy it or even live it. I keep waiting for these days without you to get a little easier and for this pain of lonliness to just not be so heavy on my heart but I sometimes feel like its getting worse.. I just miss you so much every minute of every day and i'm so lonely without you here. I went to church today and I so enjoy going but then its so hard without you there. Receiving communion...all I think about is how we use to stand together ..you with your arm around my waist ..receiving as one ... and then today when a friend hugged me...it just made me think of you and how much I miss your hugs ....its so hard being alone all the time. I guess work makes it easier not to think about you all day cause I am always so busy but being here at home is so damn hard. I'm trying so hard to move through this but my heart hurts so much without you here. I wonder do you see me..do you know how much pain I'm in..do you know how much I miss you and how lost I feel without you. We did so much together that those things are so hard to do now by myself. Even baking for woodloch...you helped me out so much and I even miss all the tasting you did for me...I can't think of one thing I don't miss..even our ups and downs. I honestly don't know how to pull myself together and I just wish I had someone to share this pain with sometimes. I can't share it with the kids cause they have their own pain but its a different kind of pain and they just don't understand how much my heart aches for you everyday. I'm trying to get past the regrets and the guilt I still feel and most of the time now....its just truly missing you. I can't remember a time that you weren't in my life and I can't even believe you have been out of it for over 3 years already. I'm not sure how I have survived this far and somedays not really sure how to go on. I always thought the kids would always need me but I've realized they really don't ...they all have their own lives to live. It was you that needed me and now I realize how much I have always needed you. I'm trying so hard to understand why God took you from me so soon. I wonder if he didn't realize how much I love you...was he angry at me for some of the stupid things I did or didn't do....is this my punishment for not always being the understanding loving wife I really tried to be for you... If I only had the chance to do things differently I would...I would show you every day how much you meant to me...even though I tried to do that I know I failed at times....I know we both did. But I'm so thankful for having you in my life...I was so blessed the first time we sat on that bench together and I know we have so many memories from the last 40 years together but I just wasn't ready to let you go. It just wasn't enough time and i'm so angry at us for the time we lost by being upset with each other over stupid things. How do I get past that hon???? How do I go forward with all this pain in my heart from missing my best friend so much?? Everything I do reminds me of you....I just can't get you out of my mind...nor do I want to.....I just want to learn how to go on alone...I just want to feel you still here with me, then maybe I can move forward a little bit without such a heavy hurting heart. Everyone says you are but I don't know why I can't feel you. I'm sorry I guess I just need more from you..but then didn't I always??? Please help me with this.....I really am trying hon but i'm really having a tough time..... Well I guess I should stop crying for a bit...it's been a tough afternoon but then it's sunday and this is usually how my sundays go when i'm alone. Guess I need to start planning things for sunday..maybe that will help a little ....not being alone on our day..... always remember how very much I love you babe...for always to the moon and back...xoxoxoxoxo Robbie Im sending you these balloons filled with hugs and all my love.......xoxoxo

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Friday, January 8, 2016

Hey my birthday boy.....I'm sorry I didn't get on here all day...its been a little crazy of a day but you have been in my thoughts and prayers all day long. This has been quite the week and our poor jess has just been through the ringer with all the stuff going on with her.. Its times like this that I hate not having you here to lean on and just tell me all will be ok. Watching her suffer with these pains is so tough and doing it alone is even worse. I wasn't suppose to have to do this tough stuff alone remember. I miss you so much babe and now that the holidays are over the post holiday blues are here and its been a really tough week. I'm trying to get ready and hyped up for woodloch but its not a really fun time any more without you there too. I love going with the kids but your void just leaves my heart full of pain and sadness. But I will try and suck it up as always and make it a good weekend in honor of you. It's funny I have so many things I want to say to you and yet when I sit down to do this, I seem to run out of words so easily. I think of you every minute of the day and miss you even more than that. Please help Jess to recover well and let her start living her life now. Well I really need to get to bed since jess and I have to drive home early tomorrow. I really do miss you babe and I hope you and Caleb had a wonderful birthday celebration. Please don't forget about us here okay???? Happy birthday baby....love u to the moon and back again!!!!!!!

Y

Your Robbie with Love posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Merry Christmas Love, Well here I am, my 4th Christmas holiday without you and I wish I could say things have gotten so much easier, but....they really haven't. Although I haven't cried yet today (which is a miracle in itself) but the night is not over yet either. I think at this point I am just so numb that I sometimes don't really feel anything at all. It's a very quiet night tonight...Church with the girls, Dan and kids then home with Jess and Crys ....We had dinner and then watched a couple movies ....nice just spending the time with the girls, but also a little weird cause i'm not use to Christmas being quite so laid back and quiet. It's been a long week off so far and I haven't had one minute to just chill so it is kind of nice to be able to do that for a change. I still have to work on Herb's gift but I may save it till tomorrow. I really missed you at church tonight...certain songs and moments in church like communion when you always put your arm around my waist so we could receive together, and the sound of your voice singing Gloria...i'm not gonna say it was easy being there without you cause it never is. I wish so much we had started going to this church and had met Anna cause you just would have loved her and the way she makes you feel so welcome and happy to be there...it really does feel like home. And then after as we drove through Hawley with all their simple holiday lights through the town, it made me sad to think how I always wanted to just walk with you down the streets at this time of year but never did. It's those little things that make my heart start to feel so sad and regretful for things we never did and it just makes me miss you even more. On a positive note though....thank you for our Christmas miracle in adopting these two beautiful little ones. I hope you are witnessing how blessed we are and how happy to have them in the family. They truly belong here with Nik and Dan and they are all so very happy. I just wish so much you were here to influence them and be the pop pop that could teach them so many things. I hope you realize that not a day goes by without me thinking of you 100 times a day and missing you 100 times more....I hope you are having a merry Christmas but are thinking about us here and knowing you are in our hearts and our thoughts . I miss you more than words can tell you babe..... and my heart will always be yours.... Merry Christmas .....Loving you to the moon and back forever....xoxoxoxo your Robbie

Y

Your Robbie Loves you... posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Hey Babe, Well here I am 3 years after that fateful day you left us and I am still having a hard time truly believing you are really gone. I just keep looking around the room or at ur photos and I swear I think you'll walk thru the door any minute. I think this time of year is also tough cause you were always so awesome at making me feel so good because you noticed every little thing I ever did. I decorated this year but there was no one here right then to say how nice it looked or what a great job I did. And last night after I finished the kitchen and had music on all I could think of was how I would sit here in the dark with just the xmas lights on playing music and waiting for you to walk in and notice everything I did. And then today washing the turkey and food shopping and getting things ready for dinner tomorrow...well it's just so much harder doing these by myself...it was just so much more fun doing them together. Did you know how much doing all those things together meant to me? Did I ever tell you how much I appreciated all you did to help me??? If I didn't I hope you can see how much I miss those moments Hon....I miss you coming up behind me at the sink and wrapping your arms around me....I miss having you next to me at night so I could tuck my feet in between yours..i miss you running out to the store for last minute things that I may have forgotten...oh there are so many things I miss about you that it would take me forever to list them all. If only I could hear the sound of your voice one more time or feel your presence in the room or hear that contagious laugh of yours or most of all....just feel your incredible warm loving hug. God I need one right now so badly...I can't stop thinking about that last night and sitting with you and reading all your letters while we listened to Nik sing...how could I not know it would be your last night hon??? How did I not feel it ?? were you giving me signs and I just didn't get it?? I honestly didn't believe I would lose you...I just didn't think God would take you from me...at least not this soon....we were suppose to have forever...it was suppose to be our time now ...time to go visit friends and travel...that's what we always talked about, especially when we were in California. We were gonna start doing things differently..we were gonna visit people we don't get to see and go some places we hadn't been too.....and now here I am alone not being able to do any ot these things without you....cause I don't want to. I miss you you so much hon sometimes I just don't know how to keep going cause it's so tough going it alone after being with you for 2/3 rds of my life. So many things I still need you for .....Please help me hon to go forward cause I am really struggling right now. I put on a brave front for the kids and for everyone else but inside my heart is so broken it cries all the time. If you could just give me some signs that you are around me, that would really help me. And if you could make sure all goes well with Nik and Dan and those little ones, that would be awesome. Please let us know you are there with us babe..give us a sign of some kind. Well I have a lot to do tomorrow so I better get some sleep or I will be worthless trying to get things ready. It will not be the same without you here I hope you know that. Please watch over Crystal and bring her home safely. And of course watch over all the other kids as always too hon., Well i'll be thinking of you all day hon and i'll be looking for those signs which I desperately need .....to the moon and back forever I will love you.....ur Robbie

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Hey Babe....I'm sorry I missed my monthly letter last month...I kept trying but was having computer issues and after two days I just stopped trying so please forgive me for getting frustrated and giving up. But I am here now so I can catch you up on things.... I am back at work now and I have to say it's getting tougher and tougher to do what I do. The hours are just so long and I am so exhausted at the end of the day....but I have no choice but to keep doing what im doing. I am thankful that I at least enjoy what I do and I thank God for the guests that I really do adore. I just hope I can continue to work these hours cause I really have to to survive. This upcoming week is one I would like to just pass by. Normally birthdays don't bother me but this one for some reason is really getting to me. I think because of course I don't know how I could possibly be this age but moreso because you arent' here. I just have no desire to celebrate without you and I realize even more just how special you always tried to make important milestones like this one. I think back to my 30th and how you had our friends surprise me at Molly Malones, and my 40th at the hotel in Parsippany and then my 50th at Nik's house where I was blown away by all that you and the kids did to make it so special and by all the people that were there for me.....and I got to celebrate with my beautiful sweet Caleb and my very best friend in the whole world..... But now you are both gone and this year I am really struggling with just trying to get through the thought of the day being here. My heart hurts so much and I don't know who to share it with hon... I miss you so much . I just want to curl up in a ball for the next week and not talk to anyone or see anyone and just cry...but of course I won't do that. I will try and be happy and cherish my moments with the kids but it won't be the same and its gonna be tough. Missing you is so difficult and it hurts so much. I hope you can send me some strength to help me push through this next month cause its gonna be a really tough one.....for me and for all of us..... I know the girls have something planned and I don 't know what it is or where we are going but i'm looking forward to just spending the time with them. I'm sure they will make it special for me cause they will do it for you cause it is what you would have done and I so appreciate them for it. The best present will be a sign from you...that is truly all I need to make my heart happy for the day. Well babe I am so tired and need to get some sleep so Im gonna head to bed after I write a quick note to my sweet Caleb. I miss you more than words can say and I will love you to the moon and back forever.......Robbie xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

R

Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Monday, September 14, 2015

Hi Babe....just wanted to say happy anniversary and to let you know I've been thinking about you all day .... as always ...but maybe even a little more today. The girls kept me pretty busy so I didn't have much time to be really sad, which was a good thing and then Herb took me out to dinner as a surprise .....and it was really nice. We shared a bottle of wine, had a wonderful dinner and had some great conversation too. He did you proud hon....Don't get me wrong it didn't make me miss you any less but it just made the day a little bit easier ....We had some really good conversation about a lot of things and we shared some very important info. I miss you babe more than ever....more than anything...but I love you to the moon and back forever.....Happy Anniversary my Love.....And thanks for stopping by today...we say you by the pool and Herb said you were with him all afternoon and came back when I went outside. And also for the buck and the song last week....I really needed a pick me up by then so thanks for letting me know you were there.....love you hon

Y

Your Robbie loves you posted a symbolic gesture

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Hey Babe, It's hard to believe that summer is almost over and yet it feels like it just began. I'm certainly not ready for the cooler weather to come in although I know this is your favorite time of year. It's just so easy to get down and depressed with the coming weather so I have to try and get outside as much as possible while its still nice out. There are so many things going on right now and I have so many decisions to make, I just wish so much you were here to help me make them cause I am really struggling. If you were here things would be so different ...if only I had realized that before it was too late. Had a great weekend with Patty Bo and the girls, just goes too fast as always. Work has been really busy which helps the day go faster but makes for some very crazy nights. Had the girls up last week, wish so much you were here to see them and all our little ones. We have the cutest grandbabies and they all know who pop pop is....even little Dakota knows just from your photos......I just can't get over how fast they are all growing and I know how much you would love having them around you just like I do. They do help a little bit with the pain but even they can't totally take that away. Well I have a crazy week ahead with work and Danielle Murrays wedding and then the anniversary luncheon for your mom and dad....60 years can you believe it hon???? Why couldn't that be us??? I certainly didn't think ours would be ended so soon....oh I wish I could lose some of the pain that surrounds my heart every day. Just know that you are inside that pain every single day.....I think of you from the moment I put my feet on the ground and kiss your picture in the morning till I climb back into our bed and kiss you again each night. I love you to the moon and back forever babe............................................xoxoxo Robbie.

L

Love Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Hey Babe, Sorry I didn't get a chance to write yesterday but it was kind of a crazy day at work and couldn't seem to get a few minutes to myself. But it didn't stop me from thinking of you all day as always. I went to see the pellarins like always and it just isn't the same without you walking through that back door into the sports bar...I kept waiting for the door to open and you walk through but of course it never happened. I did find a dime when we were cleaning up from bologna night so maybe you were there after all. I kept thinking about our bologna night at the ranch that summer ....how we took pictures of us and all our grapefruits and lemons and sent them to everyone back here while they were eating bologna....God what a great week we had out there...so full of optimism and hope....and so sure you were gonna kick that monsters ass.....and yet here I am feeling more alone than ever in my life. I am really struggling with some things in my life right now and the only one I want to turn to is you....cause no one cares the way that you did ....I truly know that now but its too late .....I just should have listened to you a bit more I guess about the future. I realize now how I always put the kids first and maybe I should have been more like you....you always put me first but as a mom I thought it was my job to put the kids right up there with you and now here I am alone...without the one person who understood me and loved me for who I am and the one person I would give anything to have back in my life....I miss you more with everyday that goes by and I just wish my heart could start to heal just a little but I just don't think it will ever happen. At times I really just want to be with you cause I realize that is truly the only place I ever felt safe, secure and truly loved. I am really having some tough times right now and at times I feel like I am sinking down further and further into a big deep hole that I may never be able to climb out of. Its really scary hon and I wish so much I could feel those strong arms around me making me feel like it will all be okay cause honestly im not so sure it will be. Not the way things are going right now...i'm really not so sure. All I can ask is that you be here to guide me and to help me get through each day. Im feeling so much weight in my chest again and it scares me especially being alone. I never know what the night will bring so I cling to your picture and your bear every night just hoping I can feel you near me. I have seen so many buck lately and I just want to pick up the phone and say "hon isn' t it early for these buck to have horns so big???" I just don't ever remember seeing them with racks as big as the ones I have seen. Everytime I see one of course I think of you and hope its a sign. Well I have to go to work...so I have to sign off. Know that my heart aches every minute of every day for you and i'm trying my best to feel you with me so please don't stop sending signs even if I may not realize what they are. I'm trying I really am. I am trying to be strong too but I have to be honest....its not easy sometimes....but i'm trying..... To the moon and back I will love you forever and always......Your Robbie

L

Love Your Robbie posted a condolence

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Hey Babe, Sorry I didn't get a chance to write yesterday but it was kind of a crazy day at work and couldn't seem to get a few minutes to myself. But it didn't stop me from thinking of you all day as always. I went to see the pellarins like always and it just isn't the same without you walking through that back door into the sports bar...I kept waiting for the door to open and you walk through but of course it never happened. I did find a dime when we were cleaning up from bologna night so maybe you were there after all. I kept thinking about our bologna night at the ranch that summer ....how we took pictures of us and all our grapefruits and lemons and sent them to everyone back here while they were eating bologna....God what a great week we had out there...so full of optimism and hope....and so sure you were gonna kick that monsters ass.....and yet here I am feeling more alone than ever in my life. I am really struggling with some things in my life right now and the only one I want to turn to is you....cause no one cares the way that you did ....I truly know that now but its too late .....I just should have listened to you a bit more I guess about the future. I realize now how I always put the kids first and maybe I should have been more like you....you always put me first but as a mom I thought it was my job to put the kids right up there with you and now here I am alone...without the one person who understood me and loved me for who I am and the one person I would give anything to have back in my life....I miss you more with everyday that goes by and I just wish my heart could start to heal just a little but I just don't think it will ever happen. At times I really just want to be with you cause I realize that is truly the only place I ever felt safe, secure and truly loved. I am really having some tough times right now and at times I feel like I am sinking down further and further into a big deep hole that I may never be able to climb out of. Its really scary hon and I wish so much I could feel those strong arms around me making me feel like it will all be okay cause honestly im not so sure it will be. Not the way things are going right now...i'm really not so sure. All I can ask is that you be here to guide me and to help me get through each day. Im feeling so much weight in my chest again and it scares me especially being alone. I never know what the night will bring so I cling to your picture and your bear every night just hoping I can feel you near me. I have seen so many buck lately and I just want to pick up the phone and say "hon isn' t it early for these buck to have horns so big???" I just don't ever remember seeing them with racks as big as the ones I have seen. Everytime I see one of course I think of you and hope its a sign. Well I have to go to work...so I have to sign off. Know that my heart aches every minute of every day for you and i'm trying my best to feel you with me so please don't stop sending signs even if I may not realize what they are. I'm trying I really am. I am trying to be strong too but I have to be honest....its not easy sometimes....but i'm trying..... To the moon and back I will love you forever and always......Your Robbie

L

Love and hugs from your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Hey Babe, Well I wrote this last night but for some reason I lost it so here I am again tonight. Another month and I'm still no closer to accepting that you are really gone. Some days I just still find it so hard to believe that I will never feel you again or dance with you in the way that only you and I could dance together. Just today I had to stop and remind myself that this is real and then the pain starts all over again. I talked a guest today and her husband has been gone for 12 years and she is still having a hard time with life...but I understand it and I see myself in the same spot 10 years from now. I think one of the things I really miss is not having you to share the good times and the bad times..the happy and the sad. Last night I found out that a friend I went to school with lost her 25 year old daughter last week and I didn't even know it. I so badly wanted to feel your arms around me just because I felt so bad for her and because you always made me feel safe and I understand how difficult this loss must be for her and the other day at the hospital with jess...oh how I wished you were there with us. you could always say things to make me feel like things would be okay regardless of whether you believed it or not..you always made me feel like it would be. There are so many things I miss hon....like driving in the car and not talking but just sitting there on my phone or whatever I was doing...when I should have just been having a conversation with you ..over anything or even nothing ...I wish so much I could have a do over ...I would do so many things different. I know I'm rambling but its just cause I miss you so much every single day and it just gets worse as time goes on. I just don't know how to make my heart stop hurting. I keep trying but I sometimes feel like I'm going in reverse. I haven't gotten any signs from you lately, at least none that I have recognized and I sure could use one right now. Oh hon I miss you so much I don't know if you can see how difficult this is or how much my heart aches for you every day but it really does.......I have to go to bed hon cause these long days are really tough for me and coming home to an empty house is just dreadful....just remember i'm missing you every day but i'm still loving you to the moon and back forever.....xoxoxoxo your Robbie

L

Love and hugs from your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Hey Babe, Well I wrote this last night but for some reason I lost it so here I am again tonight. Another month and I'm still no closer to accepting that you are really gone. Some days I just still find it so hard to believe that I will never feel you again or dance with you in the way that only you and I could dance together. Just today I had to stop and remind myself that this is real and then the pain starts all over again. I talked a guest today and her husband has been gone for 12 years and she is still having a hard time with life...but I understand it and I see myself in the same spot 10 years from now. I think one of the things I really miss is not having you to share the good times and the bad times..the happy and the sad. Last night I found out that a friend I went to school with lost her 25 year old daughter last week and I didn't even know it. I so badly wanted to feel your arms around me just because I felt so bad for her and because you always made me feel safe and I understand how difficult this loss must be for her and the other day at the hospital with jess...oh how I wished you were there with us. you could always say things to make me feel like things would be okay regardless of whether you believed it or not..you always made me feel like it would be. There are so many things I miss hon....like driving in the car and not talking but just sitting there on my phone or whatever I was doing...when I should have just been having a conversation with you ..over anything or even nothing ...I wish so much I could have a do over ...I would do so many things different. I know I'm rambling but its just cause I miss you so much every single day and it just gets worse as time goes on. I just don't know how to make my heart stop hurting. I keep trying but I sometimes feel like I'm going in reverse. I haven't gotten any signs from you lately, at least none that I have recognized and I sure could use one right now. Oh hon I miss you so much I don't know if you can see how difficult this is or how much my heart aches for you every day but it really does.......I have to go to bed hon cause these long days are really tough for me and coming home to an empty house is just dreadful....just remember i'm missing you every day but i'm still loving you to the moon and back forever.....xoxoxoxo your Robbie

R

Robbie posted a condolence

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Hey Babe, I just read some horrible news that a friend of ours lost her daughter last weekend....My heart hurts so much for her because I know what pain she is feeling right now..losing someone so close and someone she loves so much, I just can't stop crying for her and for the pain and sadness she must be feeling right now. I'm so tired of life being so sad every day any more....where did all the happy times go and how do I find them again? Lately I feel so sad all the time and I seem to miss you more every day and I just don't know how to make it better. No one can take your place or ever make me happy like you did and i'm so sad and sometimes angry that you left me so soon. I haven't had any signs from you lately and I so need one right now. There are a lot of things going on right now and it makes me miss you more than ever. I need you so much to help me with these tough times..I wish so much for one of your hugs. :-( Sending you al my love ...To the moon and back forever....xoxo

R

Robbie posted a condolence

Monday, May 25, 2015

Hey Babe. well they changed this again so I can't say what I want but I just want you to know we received your special gifts yesterday and we are so very happy and they are just perfect. Please let this all work out the way we know it should cause we can't take anymore broken hearts. Thank you for answering our prayers and also for coming to me twice in the past two weeks and for trying to help me get past this pain and sorrow. I'm really trying but its so hard. I will watch for the gray doves now that I have seen them twice I m hoping they will be a sign to let me know you are around. Thank you too for the beautiful turnout for the fundraisers. We raised the most amount of money ever this year ...it was an incredible weekend hon I hope you saw how many people were there. We will be able to help so many families with the $58,000 we raised. We are now in our new building too which is gonna be awesome. Well its gonna shut me down so ...love you to the moon and back forever.....ur Robbie

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Friday, April 24, 2015

Hey Babe, Hard to believe another month has passed and here I am again writing to you cause that is the only thing that keeps me going right now. This month is such a hard one without you here to hold me up and help me get through it and that makes it so much harder now...grieving the loss of both of you....I miss you so much more than any words can tell you. We have been working nonstop to get things ready for the big weekend coming up and we are physically and emotionally exhausted but all we pray for now is the weather to be decent and the people to come. We can't do any more now, it's all in God's hands to make this a success so If you can help us out with those two little things that would be awesome. I know you are here in spirit I just wish I could feel you a little more that's all. It's really hard doing all the things that we did together,..now doing them alone. It just makes me miss you even more. These last few days are gonna be tough but if I know you are here with me, well than I think it will make it just a little bit easier...I won't miss you any less, probably more but it might help a little. It's so hard to believe that these 4 months have gone by so fast and we have all worked so hard that I just hope it is all worthwhile for us and we will be able to help so many families. We will be moving the office too, in fact we are in the process now so it is a little crazy although I think it will be a good thing once it is done. I miss the days of having it all in our basement but without you here I am kind of glad we don't do it like that anymore. It just isn't the same without you here. Everytime someone hands me a piece of tape I see your hands handing it to me and so many memories of long nights and just the two of us in our basement wrapping everything by ourselves. Wish I could go back to those days baby... I miss so many things.... Well I am off to pick up baskets that we have dropped off all over town...oh yeah one more thing you use to do with me and for me and now its one more thing I have to do without you. Some day I will sit down and make a list of all the things we use to do together and I now do alone....the list would probably never end....I miss you so much hon..my heart hurts more every day and each night alone seems to get longer. You will be in my heart this weekend as you always are...I just hope you can take a minute to send me some kind of signs...you know how much I need them to keep me going. I hope you get the balloons we'll be sending up to you and Caleb on Sunday....keep collecting them and hangin on to all the messages that come with them....loving you to the moon and back forever and missing you more every day.....your Robbie..xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

y

your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Hey Babe, Just wanted to take a minute to say Happy Easter and let you know I have been thinking about you so much today. It's been a really long day. We went to church this morning and as much as I love going, I just have a hard time with you not being there. I just think so much about how you would have really enjoyed this church and the people who are a part of this community. I still have a tough time receiving communion without you next to me and us doing it together...I miss that so much and it makes me so sad that sometimes I have a hard time going up to receive. The memories are just so hard to deal with sometimes and then other times they are the only thing to keep me going. I just miss you so very much and I really feel so sad without you here..... We have been working on baskets all day and starting to get a lil nervous cause the time is coming up really fast and with working so much for both of us, it has been hard to get here to do the baskets. It is not like when we had it all in our basement...it was much easier for me then but with all the stuff we have now, we could never fit it all in our basement now so its better we are at an office. We are moving the office next month to another location so we have a lot of work to do over the next month. Well I have to finish up some work now so I have to go. I think about you every minute of the day babe and I miss you more every day,. Loving you forever to the moon and back again....your Robbie

Y

Your Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Oh babe I am so sorry.....I never miss our monthly letter and I just realized right now that I did...both you and Caleb. I have been so sick this week that I don't really think I knew what was going on but I am so sad and angry at myself for not realizing the date. Especially since I have been thinking of you constantly and missing you so much. When i'm sick all I can think of is how you would check in with me from work and you would come in at night and find me lying on the couch and you would stroke my forehead and say "Hows my peanut doin?" God what I would give to hear you say those words to me right now....even just one more time. Being sick and being alone is just so hard...God I hope you never felt alone when you were sick cause you weren't...ever...everyone was here but especially me...remember you just kept saying me and you baby...its just me and you.....and I believed that hon...I never thought I would lose you not like that. I always thought it was awful when my sisters said they hoped when my folks died they would go together because being without the one person who loves you truly unconditionally is just too hard....oh but I get it now. Its so hard being here without you that sometimes I just want to go to sleep and know when I wake up i'll be with you again. I'm so stupid cause I use to think that as long as I had the kids in my life I could survive...I had no idea how wrong I was. None of them need me like you did. I realize they could all go on because they all have their own lives and when they aren't around....well mine is so empty. This was suppose to be our time...our years of finally having time for us...You had so many dreams for us to travel and visit people and do things together and with our family....and we never got that chance. My life is so different now as I sit her most nights after work..alone...I use to look forward to coming home after work and now..there is nothing to look forward too, except another empty lonely night. Sometimes I am not sure how to keep doing this. The pain just doesn't go away and it doesn' t lessen. In fact it just gets deeper into your soul when you lose the best thing that ever happened to you. So many more things I would say to you and so many things that i wouldn't....if only we could learn before we make all the mistakes we make. so many if onlys..... Well my Herb i hope you can continue sending good vibes to those of us who need it...i know i'll take anything you can throw my way ....just want so badly to know you are here with me....loving you to the moon and back for always....ur Robbie

R

Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Hey Babe, Well here we are again, my monthly letter to you. Hopefully you like them more now than you did before. Tough month this month, although every month seems to be tough these days but this month with valentines day and marys anniversary and of course tomorrow being Caleb's .....well it is just a month of memory after memory. Its just hard to believe that its been 8 years since we held our little man in our arms and yet i miss him as much today as i did 8 years ago. I just try not to think about it sometimes, just like if i don't let my mind wander into thoughts or memories i can just pretend that this isn't really real. And you will walk through the door from work and i will be sitting on the couch working on something, just waiting for you to come home. But life is so different now and even though i try and think like that, it doesn't always work...cause i know the door won't open and you won't walk through it and kiss me hello or rub my head and say "how's my lil peanut doin?" That is probably one of the hardest things to try and not remember and i miss it more than i ever could have imagined i would. All the little things we take for granted at the time and then when we don't have them anymore....well it is one of the most difficult things to deal with. But i am trying hon...i truly am and some days i can deal and some i just want to curl up in a ball and do nothing but cry cause i miss you so much the pain is sometimes unbearable. I hope you can give my lil man a hug for me especially tomorrow cause i know it will be a tough day for all of us here and maybe you could send me some kind of sign to know you are together and watching over all of us??? Sure could use one right now babe. I think i miss talking to you more than anything (i know you're saying yeah but we wasted so many times when we could have talked and we didn't, and boy don't i know that one....don't think i don't have many regrets every day and how i hear your words in my mind every day....believe me, i live with that in my heart every single day). I am trying to remember all the good times we had and thankfully we did have many. I try to see you in the kids and in the things they say and do because it helps keep you alive in my heart. I see so much of you in Ryan ..in the things he does and the way he looks at times...he is so you when we were younger... Well i could go on and on here as always but i have to go back to work hon so i better say goodbye for now. If you could just let us know you're here especially tomorrow it would be really helpful. It's gonna be a tough day so we will take all the little signs you want to give. I still keep wear your penny i found next to my heart everyday since the day i found it twice....thx Well i'll be back next month babe so till then....be with me, watch over us and just know that i miss you more every day and i'll love you forever to the moon and back xoxoxoxoxoxo Your Robbie for always

R

Robbie posted a symbolic gesture

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Hey Babe, Well its the 24th today and that means another month has gone by without you. Still so hard for me to believe you're gone and yet it's been over 2 years now. It still doesn't feel real to me yet but then honestly i don't think it ever will...at least not in my heart. I'm missing you more with every day that goes by and i can't imagine that ever changing. No matter what i do or where i am...i'm always thinking about you. About the things we did or things we didn't get the chance to do...places we went and the places we didn't get to go to...the songs we loved to listen to, the things we talked about...but most of all ...i just think about you and how much i miss you. I hope someday i can forgive myself for the things i did wrong just as i hope you have forgiven me...it was all the stupid things we did or didn't do that i have a hard time with, but most of all it's the missing you so much that is breaking my heart. It's our woodloch weekend coming up and i wish i had the excitement i use to have but it's just not the same without you. I miss how we use to walk everywhere together and the only good part now is that the kids are there. I just don't know what i would do if it wasn't for them hon. They are what keeps me going and not wanting to be with you....Everyday is still a challenge and my heart still hurts everyday without you here. I need your advice on what to do about church...i'm so conflicted and i feel guilty ...afraid of making the wrong decision so please give me some kind of sign so i know what you think...you know how much i needed your opinion on everything i did. I 'm thinking about you as always..everyday and I only hope you remember how much i loved and still love you babe....you will always be my number one..... always and to the moon and back i will love you forever...Robbie

Y

Your Robbie with love posted a condolence

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Merry Christmas babe...Can't believe another year has gone by without you and yet it still does not feel real to me..real that you are never going to walk through that door again. This time of year is even more difficult.. trying to do all the things we did together to make the holiday special and trying to not think about how empty my heart is without you here. None of this is easy but I'm truly trying to continue on in hopes of adding memories to all the ones you and I created together. Memories that our kids and grandkids will have to look back on in years to come. There are so many things going on and I know you must be watching and adding prayers to all the ones we have going around down here. It is so hard not having you here to share all these scary times, being able to lean on you for support and feeling safe when I felt your arms wrapped around me in one of your big bear hugs. God how I miss those hugs.please know how much I miss you.. loving you forever to the moon and back

Y

Your Robbie with love posted a condolence

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Well Babe here we are at the 2 year mark and I'm not sure how...but I'm still standing...barely at times. I've been trying to get on here for 2 days now and they changed this whole website so I finally figured it out. Have to say I'm not impressed at all but just wanted to let you know not a minute of the day has gone by that you were not in my thoughts..I'm so grateful that the kids were here for the weekend..all taking turns helping with projects that need to be done and guess what?? The boys got that damn central vac to work..can you believe it after all this time and having "professionals" look at it ..our own boys fixed it (hoping they can also fix the holes in the wall now too....lknow you would be so proud of them and for everything the kids did here this weekend to help me. I miss you hon more than anyone can possibly understand...my heart hurts and I still don't know how I have survived these last two years without you...but as always I love you to the moon and back forever..

d

The family of Herbert J. Mitschele, III uploaded a photo

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Herbert J. Mitschele, III

1953 - 2012

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In Loving Memory

Herbert Mitschele, III

1953 - 2012

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